


Paradise

by GK7



Series: JJP short aus [4]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Scientists, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Park Jinyoung (GOT7), Dom/sub Undertones, Enemies to Lovers, Exploration, Fluff, Gonna keep adding tags as and when they're suggested to me cuz I don't know how to do this, Hate to Love, Ice Play, Kinda, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Making Love, Mention of Child Abuse, Minor Character Death, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Power Play, Research, Sailing, Sea Monsters, Submarines, Top Im Jaebum | JB, Underwater, Underwater World, marine biologist au, mention of drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:07:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 32,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24536716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GK7/pseuds/GK7
Summary: Where JJP are research scientists who spend most of their year on the ocean in search of the lost city, funded and accompanied by the fanatic rich business tycoon Jackson Wang, whose enthusiasm leads OT7 on wild adventures. Will they finally find their Paradise or will they find it in each other?
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Kim Yugyeom, Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang, Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang
Series: JJP short aus [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773349
Comments: 99
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

"Your co-ordinates do not match with my calculations _Captain_. You need to re-check your data." Jinyoung snarled. 

"There's nothing wrong with my co-ordinates _Doctor_ , why don't _you_ re-check your calculations?" Jaebeom shot back with a sneer. 

"Why don't you both get a room?"

Jinyoung and Jaebeom whipped their heads around to see Jackson lounging back against the couch of the control room, looking for all the world like a Don watching an underground street fight.

"We're just having a discussion." Jaebeom snapped through gritted teeth. 

"Oh yeah? Say that again without breathing in each other's faces." Jackson said, examining his nails. 

Jinyoung and Jaebeom turned back around and seemed to become aware of the microscopic inch of space between their noses at the same time. Jaebeom let go of Jinyoung's collar immediately and stepped back, Jinyoung didn't even flinch, still fuming. 

Both their teeth were clenched, Jaebeom's jaw was jutting and Jinyoung's fists were tight. 

But then-

"I'm sorry."

Jinyoung was the first to acquiesce, much to Jaebeom's surprise.

Jackson merely grunted before flicking his head in the direction of the door and Jinyoung immediately walked out.

"How the fuck do you manage to do that every time?" Jaebeom exclaimed shakily, turning back around to confront Jackson. 

"Money." said Jackson simply, sauntering lazily out of the door to follow Jinyoung to his cabin, where he knew Jinyoung would be kneeling on the floor waiting for him obediently. 

"God Jackson, if you weren't funding this research..."

Jaebeom ground his teeth and clenched his fists again. 

Jaebeom just couldn't understand it, the hold Jackson had over an otherwise fiesty Jinyoung. Jackson was his best friend, but he refused to believe it was the reason Jackson always gave him, refused to believe Jinyoung could be that shallow. There was something more, definitely something more.

But it was none of his business. He knew Jinyoung wanted him, Jaebeom. Heck everyone in their crew knew. Jinyoung wasn't really subtle, despite sleeping around. But Jaebeom was married to his work and he would die before he'd let anything or anyone distract him from it. 

So he shrugged his shoulders, rolled up his sleeves and went back to his calculations.

Eden will be his and no one could come in between him and his quest for the lost city. Not Jackson,

and definitely not Jinyoung. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a short beginning to get the feel of it. It's going to focus majorly on the love story, with the research technicalities as background. I'm gonna add more to this soon. Let me know what you guys think in the comments please💚.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung presents his research proposal. Will Jaebeom be satisfied?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay with me on this guys. I hope the terms are easy enough to understand. I've tried to keep it as simple as possible because I want people to enjoy. There's a lot of scientific inaccuracies for the sake of plot development, so please don't take anything seriously.
> 
> And please let me know in the comments what you think. Thank you!

"Okay, so now coming back to our hypothesis, the last probable sighting of the lost city was 10 years ago by Dr. Kim Woochan." Jinyoung said, tapping on his laptop to change the slides. The core research team were gathered in the projector room, two doors down from the control room, so they could listen to Jinyoung's proposal and decide whether he was to be officially initiated into the project. Jinyoung pointed at the current slide with confidence as he continued. 

"And the last sample he picked up was a very, very rare species of fish called the Silver Gunray, in layman terms - a giant eel. It belongs to the Anguilliforms but the sub order is completely novel. I've gone through the reports generously provided by Doctor Lim's team on the microbial flora of the waters around this area, but none have the characteristics that could survive the specific proteins in the gun ray's venom described by Dr. Kim, assuming his data has atleast 85% accuracy. But we need to find evidence of microbes that will exist in a symbiotic, if not mutualistic relationship with the silver gunray."

Jinyoung paused for a breath, he'd been talking continuously for the past fifteen minutes, introducing himself, and his research proposal based on a vigorous study of Dr. Woochan's journals for the past two years. His throat felt dry, and Jaebeom's intense focus on him from the back of the meeting room was not helping. 

Jinyoung placed his hands on the table for support. There were four other pairs of eyes on him - Mark, Jackson, Yugyeom and Youngjae. Youngjae, a shrewd but kind PhD was one of Jaebeom's most trusted research fellows. He was a part of his microbial study team that was tasked with co-ordinating with Mark's zoology team to methodically map the marine flora around them. Yugyeom and Jinyoung were under Mark. 

Jinyoung could feel the immense pressure on his shoulders. Everyone in this ship had known and worked with each other for a while now. They were all a single team with sub divisions. He was the outsider. He was brought in only a week ago, based solely on Jackson's reference, because he possessed something that Jaebeom wanted very badly - Dr. Woochan's journals, that had been deemed missing for a decade now, ever since his disappearance. Jaebeom had been Dr. Woochan's most loyal student, believing everything the man told him about the lost city blindly, the only one who firmly trusted Dr. Woochan's conviction of its existence. 

It had cost Jinyoung an arm and a leg to acquire those journals and offer them as leverage to convince Jackson of his worth for the mission. That, and his companionship. There was a mutual understanding between them. Jinyoung enjoyed spending time with him. Despite being 10 years older than Jinyoung, he was fun, they both shared kinks and they were both willing to experiment. In addition, he seemed quite fond of Jinyoung himself, not just his body. Jinyoung could recount many nights where they'd spent just talking about Jinyoung's work and ambitions and he had fallen asleep in Jackson's arms without them doing anything else. 

They had met at a marine biology conference where Jackson himself had handed over a rookie prize to Jinyoung for his master's thesis, one that had been sponsored by Jackson's company. 

Jackson was the second son of the owner of one of the largest shipping companies in China. He was in charge of their South Korean branch. But he seemingly had no interest in his family's business, unlike his older brother. He seemed to enjoy funding side projects related to marine biological research more, something to do with a broken ambition because of family pressure (he had told Jinyoung once in a rare vulnerable moment in bed). 

Also, Jackson knew Jinyoung's secret. He had never really threatened to out him, but Jinyoung knew Jackson had money, free time, contacts, an interest in Dr. Woochan's mission - and by extension, Jaebeom's research. Four things Jinyoung needed very much. Spending time with Jackson was a very good price to pay to make sure his secret was safe and for getting what he wanted - to get on Jaebeom's ship. 

Jinyoung had been a good student, an unconventionally bright student, even during his Masters. But his lack of research background placed him at a disadvantage amongst senior researchers like Mark and Jaebeom, who had both completed their post docs atleast five years before him. They would definitely prefer PhDs over him. No one would risk such a sensitive project by hiring him on their team. He needed Jackson to get him on board Jaebeom's ship. 

Ofcourse he had expected animosity. The scientific community was known for inflated egos and ruthless politics. At 25, he was one of the youngest people on the ship not counting the maintainence staff. And it didn't help that he didn't have a doctorate yet, something Jaebeom never forgot to remind him of everytime he sneered out the word Doctor with as much disdain as he could muster. Jinyoung hit back everytime, calling him Captain, even though Jaebeom wasn't technically in charge of steering the ship. They had an actual ship captain, Shownu, on board for that. But Jaebeom and Shownu were so close and trusted each other so blindly that they might as well have been one entity. And Jaebeom sure was arrogant enough to forget that he was not the Captain. 

On top of that, he just couldn't seem to stop himself from getting instigated by Jinyoung's very presence on his ship, despite the substantial age gap between them. Jinyoung didn't thing he deserved that much hostility, especially from a senior researcher. Surely, Jaebeom didn't know of his interest in him, did he? 

The rest of the research team included Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom who were around his age, while Mark, Jaebeom and most of the research fellows were atleast ten years older than them. 

Jinyoung was also the least experienced, even less than the other three maknaes. 

His heart clenched uncomfortably as his mind immediately jumped at the reason for his lack of experience. He willed his brain to forget, he could not lose his shit infront of senior scientists, especially not Jaebeom, who was a world renowned Marine Microbiologist gone rogue. He had a not-so-secret personal vandetta against the scientific community in general because of their refusal to fund his research proposal for years, despite him being generally accepted as a modern day genius in the field of Marine Microbiology. 

Jinyoung also refused to dwell on why he couldn't lose his shit infront of Jaebeom. He was sure Jaebeom had no idea about a major part of his history. There was one very important part of it that even Jackson didn't know, and Jinyoung wasn't about to tell either of them anytime soon. Maybe once they found the lost city, maybe then... 

Jinyoung cleared his throat determinedly and continued, 

"But we can't confirm the accuracy of Dr. Kim's report until we can recreate his results, which is obviously not possible at the moment. We need samples and we have none. Now, the reason why I stress on the 'very rare' part..." he continued, forcing his voice to remain stable and doing his best to ignore Jaebeom's gaze again. "...is because this is the only sighting of that species of fish or of the lost city in history, and considering Dr. Woochan's research has been denounced unanimously by the scientific community as being illegal and-"

"The only _recorded_ sighting in history." Jaebeom corrected Jinyoung quietly with authority. "And being illegal doesn't make his research dismissible might I add, the very reason why I left my membership at the Board of science."

This was too much for Jinyoung, he was already coiled up tight like a spring. So he snapped. 

"Can you not break my flow?" he said through clenched teeth, glaring at Jaebeom. 

"Wording is very important in scientific research." Jaebeom continued calmly, as if Jinyoung hadn't just disrespected him. "especially with a project like ours. You know we are recording this right? And we have to submit these recordings for review once the project is successful. If you can't get the basics right you have no place here. Also, I know you've only been here for a week but this is my ship and you're one of my subs Doctor, so start acting like one." 

Something flashed across Jinyoung's brain at his words, but it was gone so quickly he hoped Jaebeom couldn't read what it was before Jinyoung went back to his signature sneer. Jaebeom wasn't Jackson, Jaebeom was different. Jinyoung needed to hold himself together. 

"I'm a Marine Biologist, and a good one at that, that's why you brought me here. I'm not here to feed your fantasies Captain." said Jinyoung, stressing on the captain mockingly as usual. 

"You're here because Jackson insisted on it." said Jaebeom simply, hitting back with interest. "I still don't know how he thinks you can help when we already have Mark, but please go ahead and blow us away with your _exceptional_ skills." 

Instead of being offended, Jinyoung gave him a lopsided grin, one that he was sure Jaebeom couldn't mistake as being innocent. But Jaebeom didn't take the bait, choosing to simply ignore it. Jinyoung was always finding ways to twist his words into innuendos to rile him up but Jaebeom never gave an indication that it affected him in any way, which meant it did affect him and that in turn spurred Jinyoung on even more. 

"Can we please get on with our damn jobs? Every minute wasted is costing us thousands atleast." Mark interrupted stoically, eyeing them both with careful disinterest.

Jinyoung tore his eyes away from Jaebeom and cleared his throat. Technically, Mark was his immediate superior and he needed to be in his good books. 

"Okay so the only written record of this species was found among the debris of Doctor Kim's ship, hidden inside a wax sealed box along with a crystal phial containing an unspecified substance which was conveniently labeled as gunray venom. There was no physical sample of the fish itself, but a detailed study of its morphology, gut and dermal flora as well as a proteinatious liquid that is secreted from glands placed in its cheek. The amino acid chains of the proteins have been characterized only partially as his research was evidently interrupted, but we still have a lot to go on, including a side note scribbled in the margins of his rough journal, 'This is the key to Eden' .

Jinyoung paused to take another breath and looked around the room once more. The room was dimly lit by the light of the projector where Jinyoung had his slides up. Jackson and Jaebeom stood back in the shadows, so he could only see Mark, Youngjae and Yugyeom's faces that seemed to be almost glowing with eagerness. This gave Jinyoung enough encouragement to continue. 

"So my proposal is, we start by sequencing the amino acids present in the venom and try to re-construct the proteins present in it. We have no proof yet that the venom is from the silver gunray, since no DNA samples could be recovered. Once we are able to acquire another sample of the actual fish, we can match the protein sequence of its venom to our sample and authenticate Doctor Woochan's results."

"And then?" Yugyeom asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

"And then we find the lost city." said Mark quietly. 

They sat like that for a few minutes. Jinyoung reveling quietly in the substantial contribution he had just made to kickstart Jaebeom's research again. Without the journals and the venom sample, Jaebeom would've still been drifting around clueless, beginning from scratch and going by the tid bits Dr. Woochan had shared with him over the years. Jinyoung's place in the project was as good as fixed, he was sure if it. He owned the journal and the venom sample, Jaebeom couldn't use them without his consent. And there was no way in hell he would give consent, unless he was in on the team. He looked back in triumph at Jaebeom who continued to pin him with narrowed eyes, daring him to digress. 

"Okay, but we need to fix one of the PCR machines first. It broke down again." was all Jaebeom had to say.

Jinyoung's heart soared.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung and Jaebeom have a confrontation.

"What's your real interest in this project Jinyoung ssi?" Jaebeom asked suddenly. 

Jinyoung took another deep breath and braced himself. He had been ready to answer this question. He knew Jackson could easily get him on board the ship, but he had to prove himself to Jaebeom and his crew if he wanted to stay. 

"Since Dr. Kim Woochan was not very popular amongst the scientific community, his papers never caught their attention. They were handed over to his next of kin. Jackson and I were able to retrieve those papers at a price and after studying them carefully, we are both convinced that Dr. Woochan had either found the lost city or some concrete evidence of it before disappearing with his crew. His research was severely underfunded and unsupported, hence the low publicity and the early wrapping up of the case. They have all recently been declared dead by accident according to government laws, but we think differently. The scientific community simply buried his research, or was forced to bury it by more powerful people which in itself is suspicious. They dismissed him as a fanatic, much like some one else we know." said Jinyoung, his eyes sweeping from Jackson to Jaebeom.

"I'm not a fanatic. And no one dismissed me, I left voluntarily." Jaebeom snapped. 

"Yes. And?"

"Jaebeommah, don't." Mark warned, before Jaebeom could open his mouth again. 

It had the desired effect, Jaebeom merely let out a frustrated grunt, closed his eyes for a brief moment and took a good long breath. 

Jinyoung felt a burn of resentment flare in his stomach. Why did Mark feel the need to interrupt between them and why was Jaebeom always so obedient towards Mark? 

Come to think of it, Jaebeom was nice to everyone but him. Towards Jinyoung, there was always distrust and judgment in his eyes. 

He turned back to Jaebeom and caught a look of confusion as Jaebeom studied the flurry of emotions on Jinyoung's face. Great, so much for hiding his feelings. 

"Do you really need a babysitter to control you Captain? You're a grown man and the leader of this entire operation, last time I checked." Jinyoung said icily, trying to push back the acid coarsing in his veins. 

He could see the bones sticking out of Jaebeom's jaw as he clenched it tighter. 

"Dr. Tuan is one of the PI's on this research. And you would do well to remember that." He said in an uncharacteristically low tone, his venom filled gaze boring into Jinyoung's eyes. 

It was too much. Jaebeom was getting more hostile every day. Jinyoung's mouth opened slightly and he became too flustered to speak for the next half hour or so while Mark studied Dr. Woochan's journal. Jaebeom looked satisfied. He had never outright threatened Jinyoung, however indirectly. A Primary investigator or PI had the power to kick a subordinate off the team if they didn't co-operate. It was a rule even Jackson couldn't override. But the look Jaebeom had given Jinyoung just now was Jinyoung's bane. It was the same look and the same voice tone that Jackson used when he wanted to discipline Jinyoung. Jaebeom had never used it against him. His heart was confused, eroded. 

But the fact was, Jackson knew what he was doing. Jaebeom didn't. Jaebeom wasn't Jackson. 

Goddammit Lim Jaebeom.

"This is all well and good, but I'm bored." Jackson drawled suddenly from where he was leaning against the wall next to Jaebeom.

Everyone turned around to look at him incredulously. 

"Um, Mr. Wang." Mark began in a forced reasonable tone. "You do remember what you're paying us for right?" 

"Yes. But all this bickering just messes with my mood. I wanna go visit the Bermuda triangle, when can we do that?" 

"Mr. Wang. I'd like to remind you that-" 

"Seunnah. What are you doing?" Jaebeom cut in with a heavy sigh. 

"What?" 

"You know we're going by the plot sampling method, trying to find the most suited method before we delve deeper into this, we can't just up and change our co-ordinates and leave for the Bermuda triangle." 

"Why not? You're smart right? Come up with something." 

"That could cost you millions and mess up all our data." 

"I have more money than I know what to do with and I'm bored. Plus, I think you guys clearly need a break." 

"Jackson, this isn't a fucking field trip." 

"I'm aware of that, thank you. I'm the one paying for it, aren't I?" 

"Why are you such a child-" 

"Jackson, can I have a word? Jinyoung interrupted suddenly. "Please?" 

Jackson made a show of grumbling like a toddler and then followed Jinyoung out of the projector room, leaving a seething group of research scientists behind him. 

"Seunnah, are you messing with them on purpose?" 

"So what if I am?" 

"Were you jealous just now?" 

"No."

"Seunnah..." 

"Okay fine. But why does Mark always act like he's Jaebeom's keeper or something? He's so cold towards me but he's happy playing husband with Jaebeom for no reason. Okay, I know they've worked with each other for years but if something more were to happen between them, it would have happened by now." said Jackson, slipping a hand around Jinyoung's waist to pull him in. "Makes me so mad..." 

Without warning, Jackson turned Jinyoung around abruptly and pulled down his pants right there in the corridor. Jinyoung looked around frantically, his hands braced against the wall, grateful that this part of the ship was out of bounds without Jaebeom's authority.

"Jackson! We can't...we're in the middle of my presentation...what.." 

But no amount of pleading was enough as Jackson's hand came down hard on his butt. Jinyoung yelped. 

"Fuck..." he moaned, as the pleasure overtook the pain.

This was a regular occurrance now, Jackson getting jealous of Mark and Jaebeom's closeness and Jinyoung suffering for it. Not that he minded too much. It felt good, considering the same surge of jealousy ran through him too everytime he saw them together. And even though he considered his own jealousy to be more rooted in pain than Jackson's lust for Mark, it was cathartic for both of them to let it all out on each other. 

Jinyoung wiped the tears from his eyes and followed Jackson back to the projector room after 30 minutes or so. It was almost empty now, except for Mark and Jaebeom bent over intently on some charts. 

"Dr. Lim. We need to talk." said Jinyoung quietly. 

Jaebeom raised a skeptical eyebrow and Jinyoung almost chickened out. But he had made up his mind.

Jaebeom followed him out of the projector room (leaving a pleased Jackson and an irritated Mark alone) and into the next one, standing with his arms crossed expectantly. Jinyoung shut the door and turned around, leaving one hand on the door handle behind him while the other picked at the fabric of his pants nervously, as if making sure he could escape whenever he needed to.

All he had done for the past ten years was run. No more. He needed to see this mission through so he could stop running. 

So he could stop being afraid. 

"What is it?" Jaebeom asked, eyeing Jinyoung's fidgeting hand.

"Listen, I know we got off on the wrong foot..." Jinyoung began. 

"You mean manipulating your way into my research even when you're under qualified and jeapordizing everything I've worked for? Yeah I agree." 

Jinyoung opened his mouth but nothing would come out. There was nothing he could really say to counter that. 

"All this for what Nyoungie? A dead legacy?" 

Nyoungie. 

He hadn't heard that name from Jaebeom for ten years. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom and Jinyoung have a confrontation.

10 years ago:

"Nyoungie, what's wrong?" Jaebeom asked with a worried frown on his face, placing his hands on Jinyoung's shoulders to stop them from shaking so much.

Jinyoung collapsed against Jaebeom's chest and sobbed harder. 

"Hyung, is it okay if I want to die?" he managed to say in between gasps and tears.

"Nyoungah, don't say things like that. You know your appa-" 

"H-he hates me Hyung, he hates me! He wishes I was never born."

"Who said that to you? Jinyoung, look at me!" Jaebeom exclaimed in anger, holding Jinyoung's face up with both hands and forcing him to look at him. "Tell me who said that to you? Hyung will take care of it okay."

"No one said anything." Jinyoung said, trying to push Jaebeom away, but Jaebeom only clung tighter. 

"You're fifteen Nyoung, almost a man. You should know better than to believe bullshit!" Jaebeom was almost yelling now, panting with the effort of holding Jinyoung who seemed hell bent on running away. 

"It's not easy when it's your own father who said those things!" Jinyoung screamed at him, and Jaebeom finally let go, too shocked to say anything. 

"I heard it myself Hyung! I went to his office today because I was bored and lonely! He never even comes to visit me in my room unless it's to make painfully awkward conversation like he'd rather be anywhere else, just checks in with the house help like I'm some cattle for slaughter, to be reared but not loved! I didn't even know I had a father until mom died last year. He took me in but for what?! I'm just a burden, the biggest mistake of his life! All I have is you! You're the only one who even talks to me in that house! The only time I'm happy is when you come over for work but stay back to hang out with me! The only one who actually cares about me! My own dad resents me!"

"Dr. Woochan would never say that Jinyoungie, you must have misund..." Jaebeom began weakly. 

"I did not misunderstand anything!" Jinyoung screamed again, his voice almost too high to be coherent. "I heard him, he was frustrated about something, yelling over the phone at someone from the funding department and he said he would have funded the project himself if not for me! What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" 

"Nyoungah...come here." Jaebeom said gently, holding out a hand to Jinyoung who was pacing around Jaebeom's university dorm room like he didn't know what to do with himself. 

"Jinyoung." Jaebeom said again, more sternly. So Jinyoung had no choice but to go into Jaebeom's arms and let himself be held. 

"Nyoungie...Dr. Woochan is very fond of you. No-listen to me!" he said when Jinyoung fidgeted like he might interrupt. "You know I never sugar coat things. He talks about you all the time, about your growing interest in his work, about how well behaved you are, about how much you look like him...he might have said something out of frustration but you have to understand, this is all new to him too. A year is not enough to just change his entire life around when he's been alone almost all his life. And it is true that he didn't plan on having you, it was a drunken night forced on him by his friends at the university, he told me. Your mother kept you hidden from him, maybe because she didn't trust him either. She did a brave thing, bringing you up so well, all on her own. Your father knows that and he does feel guilty. A child is a huge responsibility, especially at your age. That's all he meant. It had nothing to do with you being a burden. I've known him longer than you, he definitely didn't mean it the way it sounds to you."

He held Jinyoung by the arms and pulled away gently to look him in the eye. 

"You trust Hyung, don't you? You know I'd never lie to you. You know I care about you, right?" 

"I do." Jinyoung mumbled with a sniffle. "That's why-" 

Jinyoung paused just in time, rocking back on the balls of his feet as if hit by a truck.

"That's why what?" Jaebeom asked softly. 

Jinyoung searched Jaebeom's eyes and found nothing but kindness. He might as well just take the plunge. 

"That's why I love you."

"Thanks." Jaebeom chuckled. "Now go back home. I'm sure you have a lot of homework pending."

Jaebeom turned back to sort through the papers scattered on his tiny study table. Jinyoung had clearly interrupted him in the middle of work. He was completing his masters under Jinyoung's dad, that's how they'd met and become friends. 

"Hyung..." Jinyoung said, sheepish. 

"Yeah?" Jaebeom asked distractedly. 

"I love you Hyung."

"I heard you the first time. Go on home now. Or do you want me to drop you?" said Jaebeom, still frowning at his papers. 

"No-you don't-Hyung, I really love you. As in I'm in love with you."

Jaebeom froze suddenly, papers in hand. 

"What did you say?" he asked in a dead tone, without turning around. 

"I-I said I'm in love with you. And I know you love me too." Jinyoung repeated defiantly, even as he felt the truth starting to dawn on him the longer Jaebeom stood frozen like that. But no, he wouldn't accept it, not until Jaebeom said it himself. 

"Nyoungie..." Jaebeom sighed, slowly putting his papers back down on the table and turning around with a heavy sigh. 

The look of pity on Jaebeom's face was enough to kill Jinyoung all over again. 

*

"Why did you leave?" Jinyoung asked shakily, his hand clutching the door knob behind him tightly. "Ten years ago. Why did you leave? You know how much it broke dad? You were his favorite student. You were the only one who had faith in him but you just abandoned him!"

And abandoned me, he didn't say. But the look on Jaebeom's face told him that Jaebeom heard the unspoken words anyway. 

"What's it to you?" Jaebeom asked coldly, his arms still crossed. 

Yet Jinyoung noticed the clenching of Jaebeom's fists around his arms. That gave him a tiny ray of hope. 

"He went on the mission by himself, with a crew that was only there for money, not out of loyalty to him. He needed you and you left! Transferred to another thesis guide. Just like that! Like we meant nothing to you!" 

"Why do you suddenly care? Didn't you hate him? And what do you want me to say exactly? What is it that you want to hear Jinyoung?" 

"The truth!" 

"The truth?" Jaebeom asked quietly. "But you already know, don't you?" 

Ofcourse he did. But he wanted, needed Jaebeom to say it to his face. So his heart could find some closure. 

"No I don't. So tell me!"

"And what good will it do?" Jaebeom almost shouted suddenly, startling Jinyoung. "How is this going to help this project? I really don't have the time or inclination to dig up the past! Grow up Jinyoung!" 

"Then why are you so determined to finish my father's mission? Isn't it because of the past? Isn't it because of your guilt over abandoning him?!" Jinyoung screamed back. 

"You were a kid Jinyoung! Nothing but a kid for me! I was 25 years old, just starting my career and you told me you were in love with me! I had to get out! Surely you're not that stupid that you can't see it!" 

"You could have said something! Scolded me! Or even hit me like my addict of a mother used to do! Anything but leaving the way you did! Without a word, without saying goodbye!" 

Unbidden, the tears spilled out of Jinyoung's eyes while Jaebeom uncrossed his arms and looked at him in shock. 

"What do you mean? She hit you?"

"That's not the point, I-"

"Jinyoung! Why didn't you tell me? Or your dad?"

"Because I deserved it! Because I was a piece of trash that ruined her life and my father's life. And guess what?" Jinyoung laughed bitterly. "I'm not even Kim Woochan's son! I thought I was punishing him by keeping my mother's surname, but turns out his name never belonged to me in the first place! My mother lied because she couldn't handle me alongwith her drugs anymore, so she sent me off with a false story based off of a drunken one night stand and ran off to overdose! And stop acting like you give a shit anyway!"

"I do! Ofcourse I do! We were friends Jinyoung! I told you I cared about you so many times!" Jaebeom bellowed indignantly. 

"It means nothing, don't you get it?! It all means nothing when you left me! When it is you I needed the most! When it is you I loved the most!" 

The ringing silence that followed was enough to crush Jinyoung to the ground, sliding down against the door shakily and hiding his face in his hands. 

"Don't you get it?" Jinyoung said into his hands weakly, his voice hoarse. "I need to be on this ship. I need to do this with you, complete this mission. Dr. Woochan took me in without question, tolerated my ungratefulness, tried so hard to be a father when he clearly wasn't cut out for it. And now he's gone. And you...you're the only link that still connects us, it was us three against the world remember?" 

Neither of them moved for a long time. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom is scared. Very scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you for your feedback on the last chapter. I'll go back to the mission soon after resolving a bit of the JJP episode. Please let me know in the comments what you think.

"I felt cornered Jinyoung."

Jaebeom almost whispered, but he was sure it carried over to Jinyoung's red ears across the quiet room. 

Jinyoung stayed still, face hidden in his hands, the silence around them broken only by their heavy breathing and the faint splash of water around the ship's hull. It was completely dark outside the window, it was night time already and Jaebeom was itching to get back to his cabin and continue studying Dr. Woochan's journals. He knew he was nothing to Dr. Woochan, but it still felt like the journals were Dr. Woochan's final attempt to communicate with him, like he was reaching out to him through Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung. 

The journals and the venom sample weren't the only legacy Dr. Woochan had left behind for Jaebeom to take care of, he realized. It was getting clearer to him every moment, ever since Jinyoung had set foot on his ship, that Jinyoung was his responsibility too now. 

Jinyoung was a grown man, 25 years old, yet he was still too naive, still too reserved, still too desperate for love. 

Still too young. 

Jaebeom sighed heavily and tried again. 

"The reason I left without saying anything was because I was scared. Your constant messages and phone calls didn't give me enough time to think. I panicked. What if Dr. Woochan found out? I was ashamed of myself Jinyoung. I felt guilty, like I was the one who had coerced you into having those feelings for me. I still feel guilty. You were hurt, emotional, and you latched on to the first person who was even remotely kind to you. You fooled yourself into thinking that you were-"

But Jaebeom couldn't even say it. The memories were still associated with utter revulsion at himself. He should have known, a man of 25 getting along so well with a 15 year old kid...he should have known, should have recognized the signs, that Jinyoung didn't think of him as just an older brother figure. 

Jaebeom had been an only child all his life. He'd been so excited to take care of Jinyoung at Dr. Woochan's request, who wanted to give Jinyoung the familial connections he'd missed while growing up with his mom, so enthusiastic that he had over compensated.

And the result was, Jinyoung twisting their relationship in his mind as something more than what it was supposed to be. Jaebeom had lived with that guilt for years, unable to face Dr. Woochan or even contact him again, especially after his disappearance just a few months later. And by then, it was too late. 

"Jinyoung look at me. Stop crying. Please." Jaebeom pleaded, leaning back against the opposite wall and exhaling heavily. 

He felt helpless. He knew exactly what he had felt for Jinyoung 10 years ago - like an older brother, nothing more, nothing less. But he wasn't so sure now. He hadn't seen Jinyoung for years and suddenly, here was this beautiful, grown up, 25 year old man who was revealing secrets he didn't know before, who seemed hell bent on reminding him of things he didn't want to be reminded of. He had felt the old panic surge up again and his first instinct had been to show as much hostility as he could, to keep Jinyoung away. 

He had failed Dr. Woochan ten years ago, and he was failing him again now. 

"I ruined my parent's life Jaebeom." Jinyoung whispered suddenly, still refusing to look up. "I ruined Dr. Woochan's life and I almost ruined yours. All I do is fuck up." 

"Jinyoung please, don't say things like that. It wasn't your fault." 

"Then why do you hate me so much?" 

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you."

"Then why were you so desperate to kick me off your ship? I know I'm not qualified enough but the way you look at me...if it's not hatred then what is it?" 

"I don't hate _you_ Jinyoung...it's me. I hate myself."

"Why?" Jinyoung exclaimed, looking up in surprise. "You did nothing wrong!" 

"It must be something that I did, something I said, that made you feel...you were just a kid and I feel so disgusted at myself! There's no way-"

"Is that how you felt, all these years?" Jinyoung asked, another painful sob raking through his body as fresh tears welled up and began to flow down his cheeks. "Is that how I made you feel?" 

"Jinyoung please stop crying. I shouldn't have left you like that. How can I make this better? Tell me what to do!" said Jaebeom desperately, quickly walking over to crouch down infront of Jinyoung, yet restraining himself from touching him. 

There was a long pause as Jinyoung looked up at him with the same defiant look in his eyes as ten years ago when he'd declared his love for Jaebeom and his belief that he loved him back. 

"Punish me." 

"What?" 

Surely, Jaebeom had misheard. 

"Punish me." Jinyoung repeated. "That's the only thing that helps." 

"Jinyoung..." Jaebeom whispered, desperate again. "What are you saying? You know I can't do that to you!" 

"But you can let me stew in this guilt all my life?" 

"Jinyoung. Stop it. You're just really disturbed right now, you're not thinking straight. You're not in your right mind, I'll go get Jack-" Jaebeom said, beginning to get up. 

"I'm very much in my right mind Jaebeom." Jinyoung said fiercely, clutching at Jaebeom's collar and pulling him back down, their lips only inches apart.

Why did they always end up like this? 

"Jinyoung!" Jaebeom exclaimed, trying to break Jinyoung's grip and back away. 

But Jinyoung wouldn't hear it, following Jaebeom's lips until he had him pinned on the floor, hovering over Jaebeom with a wild look in his eyes. 

"Fuck...Jinyoung stop it!" 

"Jaebeom please! Just once! I need this, I really need this!" Jinyoung begged, bending down to place desperate kisses all over Jaebeom's jaw and neck. 

Jaebeom felt himself weakening even as his grip on Jinyoung's hands remained tight. But then, Jinyoung shifted down a little and slotted their hips together, sliding his length against Jaebeom's, making him shudder. 

But only for a second, before Jaebeom gave a massive push and Jinyoung was now the one down on the floor with Jaebeom straddling him, pinning his struggling hands above his head.

Jinyoung suddenly stopped moving and went completely pliant. Jaebeom watched a triumphant smile growing on Jinyoung's face and his heart lurched in fear. 

"Jinyoung stop it! I won't touch you like that alright! Just stop!" 

"Why not?" Jinyoung asked, his grin fading, straining upwards against Jaebeom's hold to push his lips towards his again. 

But Jaebeom managed to keep them from touching, even as his body decided to betray him, a strange fire burning in his lower belly at Jinyoung's flushed, tear-stained face so close to his, his hands struggling against Jaebeom's tight grip, his slender waist locked in between Jaebeom's thighs, making him feel things he didn't want to feel... 

"Because I don't want to." Jaebeom panted weakly, more to himself than to Jinyoung, sweating profusely as he struggled with Jinyoung. And himself. 

"Well, your dick begs to differ." Jinyoung shot back, grinning again. 

Who was this boy? It was not the Jinyoung that Jaebeom had known. Had his innocent stubbornness grown into something more dangerous when Jaebeom left him? 

"Jinyoung, I told you I won't touch you like that! I've never looked at you that way, ever!" 

"Why not? Am I not handsome enough? Am I not smart enough? Am I not old enough? You can't use that excuse anymore!" 

"Jinyoung-" 

"WHAT? WHAT?" Jinyoung yelled, livid. 

"I just don't feel that way about you." 

Well didn't Jinyoung know that already? But did he care? Apparently not. 

"I don't care if you don't feel the same!" Jinyoung yelled again, proving him right. "Just-just fuck me already! Just once! I swear you won't have to do it again. Please...Hyung..." 

Hyung. That word again. 

"Jinyoung, stop it." 

"You said you care about me! You said you wanted to help! I'm telling you how, so why won't you just do it?" Jinyoung cried, going pliant again. "You already have me under you! I'm an adult now! I want this! So what do you have to lose? Why can't you just-" 

"Goddamit Jinyoung! You're really messed up!" Jaebeom exclaimed, getting off Jinyoung with difficulty to pace around the room with his hands clutching at his hair. "What am I gonna do with you?" 

"Fuck me." Jinyoung replied simply, still lying on the floor where Jaebeom had left him. 

"Stop saying that!" 

"No, you stop it! I do it with Jackson all the time, it's no big d-" 

"Shut up, shut up, just shut up! Stop talking!" Jaebeom bellowed, picking up a semi metal table clock and throwing it against the wall furthest away from Jinyoung, where it burst into pieces with a deafening crash. 

Jinyoung scrambled away as shrapnel flew everywhere. Even so, one of the pieces managed to ricochet off the wall and fly towards him, lodging itself in the arm he held up for protection. 

Jinyoung yelped as blood began oozing out of the cut. 

"Shit! Jinyoung! Are you okay? I'm so sorry, goddammit, what did I do?" Jaebeom exclaimed in fear as he ran towards Jinyoung. 

Jaebeom was completely frantic now, he had hurt Jinyoung. He had actually, physically managed to hurt Jinyoung. Dr. Woochan would never forgive him now. Carefully, he pulled out the offending piece of shrapnel and used it to tear the bottom of his own shirt to try and stem the flow of blood even as they heard loud pounding against the door. 

"Jaebeom! Jinyoung! Are you guys okay? What happened?!" 

Mark and Jackson had clearly heard the sound of the clock getting smashed that had managed to carry along the deserted corridor. Jaebeom cursed under his breath as the door knob was twisted from the outside but the door remained shut. 

That's when Jaebeom realized that Jinyoung had locked the door. 

"Dammit Jinyoung!" he muttered in frustration, getting up to unlock the door and running back towards Jinyoung who just sat staring at him with a dazed look in his eyes and a satisfied smile back on his face. 

Jaebeom stared back in fear, his hands clutching desperately at the make-shift gauze on Jinyoung's arm. He heard quick footsteps approaching them and without a word, Jackson pushed Jaebeom out of the way to swoop Jinyoung up in his arms like he weighed nothing. 

But Jaebeom was too stricken to protest as Jinyoung continued to stare, his eyes locked on Jaebeom the whole time Jackson carried him out of the room, the strange satisfied smile on his face still intact. 

Jaebeom dropped back on his butt, bracing his body against the floor with one arm, his face falling into the other hand in exhaustion, elbow resting on a raised knee. 

He felt Mark's warm hand on his shoulder. 

"Jaebeommah. Are you okay? What happened?" 

Jaebeom removed his hand and looked at Mark. 

"I'm okay." he said with a scared laugh, 

"But there's something really wrong with Jinyoung."

*


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paradise is closer than ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the final mission. Hold on tight guys and let me know in the comments what you think.

Months passed and Jaebeom hardly saw Jinyoung. Jackson had requested Jinyoung to be transfered to Bambam's Molecular Biology department to help in sequencing the venom protein and strangely, Jinyoung hadn't sought him out again either. 

He suspected that Jackson had something to do with that too, or probably Mark. After the incident, Mark had strangely become quite close to Jinyoung, which did not bode well with Jaebeom at all. 

He was a bit possessive when it came to Mark, who was a complete no nonsense and brutally honest person - he didn't make friends easily and if he did, it was almost an honor. Jaebeom had prided in counting himself as one of Mark's closest friends for years, ever since they'd partnered for their post doc thesis. But seeing Mark with Jinyoung now, he couldn't really understand which out of the two his worry was directed towards - Jinyoung or Mark? Knowing how starved for love Jinyoung was, Jaebeom knew he would practically throw himself in complete submission at Mark's feet if Mark showed even a tiny bit of affection or fondness towards him. And that would be a whole different mess. 

All in all, he was secretly glad Jinyoung had transferred from Mark's department. As a PhD student who was yet to get a doctorate, he still had the freedom to switch departments and gain as varied a training as possible. 

Bambam's laboratory was located in a part of the ship furthest away from the Microbiology department and the control room, where Jaebeom was most likely to be found. So honestly, he was glad. His friendship with Jackson, who was his oldest friend from school, had more or less gone back to normal after some initial coldness. Jackson and Mark hadn't asked him about what had happened in the room and he hoped Jinyoung wouldn't say a word either. 

The guilt was eating him up. Dr. Woochan had been relatively young himself, only 34, when Jinyoung came into his life as a weak, underfed 14 year old. He had depended on Jaebeom, who was closer in age, to help him take care of Jinyoung. Probably still depended on him. 

"Us three against the world remember?" 

He didn't think Jinyoung would still remember those words, something Jaebeom used to tell him everytime Jinyoung felt lost or unloved as a teenager. 

But he was also sure Dr. Woochan wanted him to take care of Jinyoung in a very different way than what Jinyoung wanted. It didn't matter that Jinyoung wasn't actually his son, Dr. Woochan had probably figured it out himself in the end, and yet he had tried to love him like he was his own flesh and blood. 

For all intents and purposes, Jinyoung was Dr. Woochan's only remaining family. And like Jinyoung had said, the only remaining link to Dr. Woochan for either of them was each other. Everytime Jaebeom looked at him, he saw glimpses of the Dr. Woochan he had known so closely - in his stubbornness, in his emotional outbursts, in his naivety, in his complete faith in things only he seemed to believe in. Be it the lost city - in case of Dr. Woochan, or Jaebeom's love - in case of Jinyoung. 

For the past few months, Jaebeom had thrown himself into work, ignoring the urge to look for him everywhere he went on the ship. Even during meetings where it was impossible to avoid him as the teams submitted their regular reports one by one, he tried to keep his eyes fixed on the other research fellows instead of Jinyoung - pale and weak and beautiful. Every cell in his body was screaming at him to go to Jinyoung, to comfort him, to make sure he was okay, to do anything just to see him smile again. 

But he held himself back and only gave in enough to check in with Jackson or Mark about how Jinyoung was doing. He tried to make it sound like he was simply auditing his work, but he knew that they knew. Evident by how they managed to add little tidbits of extra information about Jinyoung's reduced appetite and lack of conversation outside of work. And it wasn't like Jinyoung needed him anyway. 

Jackson was more than enough, hovering around Jinyoung like a mother dragon, ignorant of everything else, making sure he was comfortable - Mark told him one day. Jaebeom could detect a hint of softness in Mark's eyes as he talked about how Jackson had ordered some expensive vitamins for Jinyoung with their last supply chopper, and made sure he took them everyday. 

So Jaebeom closed his heart and took some of his trusted crew out with Shownu on regular boat rides to test water samples further and further away from the immediate perimeter of their ship. 

He had manged to create a species of genetically modified bacteria with his team, a significant breakthrough after Jinyoung had supplied them with the gunray venom. The GM bacteria were designed to produce biofilms, a sticky substance released by bacteria on wet surfaces on which symbiotic bacteria form communities when the environment is favorable. The favorable environment here being - only when they came in contact with the unique proteins from the silver gunray venom. The biofilm reacted with a customized reagent that was sensitive enough to change color as soon as it came in contact with even trace amounts of the substance. 

The bacteria would detect the gunray venom proteins and produce biofilms through quorum sensing, a beautiful mechanism that allowed bacteria to control which gene they would activate at what time. Once the gene for the biofilm production was activated and his GM bacteria began forming communities with the bacteria in the water samples, they would know for sure, that the silver gunray was indeed nearby.

And then the hunt would begin. 

Once they were successful in catching even a single fish sample and Bambam's Mol. Bio. team were able to complete the sequencing of venom protein within scheduled time, they could narrow down the possible location of the lost city within a year, five years after they had set out on their mission. 

And Jaebeom would find his Eden. 

There was one other problem though, Jackson insisted on having Jinyoung join them when they were ready to take the submarine out for their final exploration mission. And Jaebeom was adamantly against it. 

As far as Jaebeom was concerned, Jinyoung was Dr. Woochan's son. And by extension, he was Jaebeom's responsibility, one he had run away from for ten years. But his responsibilities had managed to catch up with him now and Jaebeom would be damned if he let Jinyoung anywhere near dangerous waters. The silver gunray was like a giant snake, atleast 30 feet long and extremely violent, according to Dr. Woochan's notes. Its snake like shape helped it nest in the deepest parts of the ocean. God forbid, if they came across an entire school of them...

Jaebeom didn't even want to imagine it yet. They had well trained security from a private company, thanks to Jackson, but there were still undeniable risks involved. 

Besides, the silver gunray wasn't the only thing Jinyoung needed to be protected from - Jaebeom shuddered as he thought back to that day in the room with Jinyoung, when he had almost lost control. More than the fear of his crew finding out his history with Jinyoung, he feared the strong urges he had experienced the longer Jinyoung had laid himself out under him like that - weak and vulnerable, like a prey offering itself up to him, ready to be devoured - and Jaebeom had felt the carnal instincts he had managed to keep buried deep within him for years, wake up once more. 

Jaebeom would be damned if he dared to touch Jinyoung the way he had wanted to touch Dr. Woochan. 

If he dared to love him the way he had loved Dr. Woochan. 

*


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markjin bond and the research is nearer to its conclusion than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is fiction so there will be scientific liberties taken for the sake of plot so please don't take anything seriously. And please let me know in the comments what you think.

* * *

"Jinyoungie..."

"Hmm?" 

"What did you do then?" 

Jinyoung paused in the middle of loading a centrifuge with samples and looked at Mark, who was lounging in a chair set against the wall behind him. They were alone in the ante chamber next to the Mol. bio. lab where the spare instruments were located. Mark had given himself a much needed short break after several sleepless nights co-ordinating with Bambam's team on the protein sequencing project. They were on fast track, trying to get as much done as possible so they could proceed to the next step. 

Bambam wouldn't really let Jinyoung work on the actual sample yet, saying he didn't have enough experience and they couldn't afford to make mistakes because of the low quantity of venom sample they had to work with. But he had let Jinyoung observe and act as their transcriber, giving him some easier tasks that did not require too much careful handling while the more experienced technicians and Fellows did the main work. 

Consequently, Jinyoung had been spending more time in Yugyeom's lab who was more than happy to be splitting tasks with him. He suspected that Yugyeom had a little crush on him and Jinyoung genuinely liked his exuberant personality, as he talked about his research and explained even unnecessary details just to keep Jinyoung longer. It was harmless flirting and it kept Jinyoung's mind off Jaebeom, or so he told himself. 

Jaebeom's samples from his frequent scavenging trips with Shownu and his crew had kept every department busy for months. The area of the ocean where their ship was in currently was proving to be a treasure trove of useful scientific discoveries. 

Yugyeom, who was one of their junior medical officers, had been working on some novel antibiotics based on some of the properties of the venom. His medical career seemed on the brink of a huge boost once they returned to land and submitted their data. 

Another team had managed to incorporate some of the venom properties into standard reagents that actually helped reduce chemical waste into less toxic by-products and could possibly be used to treat industrial waste more effectively before being released into the ocean, thus reducing water pollution significantly. 

The virology department had found some new viruses in Jaebeom's water samples that could be used as effective carriers for gene modification and also seemed to target cancer cells exclusively, a potential new promise in certain cancer therapies. 

The botany department had found some, as yet unidentified, species of floating plants that were extremely effective in absorbing carbon monoxide saturated air, turning it into oxygen and other harmless by-products, besides thriving in the salt saturated conditions of the ocean water. Such extremophiles that managed to survive under severe conditions weren't exactly common in the plant kingdom, they were more common among microbes. The unusually fresh and crisp air quality in the area around the ship had been testament to that fact along with instrumental testing. 

Apart from all that, there were other different departments working on different things, using the samples and data they had collected to create products that would be mass produced through Jackson's company who were looking to open an R&D plant and expand in the field of marketable scientific research. 

The entire mission was not simply about finding the lost city, it was also about furthering every area of scientific research that could possibly benefit from it. The mission had something for each individual in the crew - knowledge, adventure, glory, personal gratification, money and in case of people like Jinyoung - redemption. 

Even though he understood that it was nothing personal, Jinyoung's resentment towards Bambam assigning him less interesting tasks, had been growing day by day. He knew it was technically him projecting his dissatisfaction with Jaebeom, but he couldn't really help it. 

The only one he could really tolerate at the moment was Mark. Jinyoung hadn't even let Jackson touch him for months, and surprisingly, Jackson had been very patient about it. Jinyoung knew he was being a brat, but he suspected that a certain Mark Tuan's more attractive company was responsible for it and he couldn't really blame Jackson. He knew Jackson liked Mark, especially since Mark seemed to have decided to let down his guard quite a bit around them both for the past few months, sometimes even casually bringing up questions about Jackson's general nature in conversations with Jinyoung. They had been bonding a lot after that last incident with Jaebeom. 

Jinyoung shuddered at the memory, but for a completely different reason than Jaebeom. He had almost, almost managed to force Jaebeom to let go of whatever stupid inhibitions he'd set on himself that stopped him from getting close to Jinyoung. Jinyoung was convinced that they were soulmates. No one understood Jinyoung like Jaebeom did and he was 100% convinced that Jaebeom hadn't found anyone that understood him the way Jinyoung did. Even after all these years. 

Perhaps, his way of trying to knock some sense into Jaebeom had been wrong. Perhaps he came on too strongly. But that was just his nature now. He hadn't always been this impulsive and extreme. But he couldn't go back now. Thinking was just a waste of time according to him and it more or less ended up creating cowards, no benefit to anyone. 

This he had learnt after years of sticking by his abusive mother, being too scared to leave her alone, fearing that she would die if he abandoned her and it would be all his fault. It had taken Dr. Woochan's disappearance for him to realize that he deserved more than what he'd thought he did. 

Now that Dr. Woochan was gone, that _more_ was Jaebeom. There was no way he would let Jaebeom disappear the way he let Dr. Woochan. Jinyoung was ready to give up anything, to do anything, to keep him close, to keep him safe. Even if it meant that they disappeared together. No matter what Jaebeom did, Jinyoung simply would not let him out of his sight. Never again. Even if he had to be punished every day of his life. 

He was sure that this was the only part of him that Jaebeom didn't understand completely. Especially when Jinyoung didn't know how to explain it himself, this need for love in the form of physical pain to try and forget the emotional damage he had suffered almost all his life - growing up with his abusive mother, scaring away his first love due to his own fault, running away from his only father figure and then losing him too, finding his real father and then ending up being abused again. 

Ofcourse Jaebeom would be scared, Jinyoung understood that. It was too much for anyone to handle, especially someone like Jaebeom who had grown up in a loving environment.

So he would be patient this time, let Jaebeom fall into a false sense of security before trying again. Their last meeting had given him enough reason to believe that Jaebeom had feelings for him. It was just a matter of getting him to stop being a coward and embrace them. 

"Earth to Jinyoung?" Mark said, waving his hand in the air to catch his attention. 

"Yeah...yeah. I'm listening." said Jinyoung, realizing that he'd been standing there zoned out for a whole minute. 

"So? What did you do? After Jaebeom left?" 

"I don't know..." Jinyoung began slowly. "It's mostly a blur. I think I broke quite a few pieces of furniture in my house."

"Woah..."

"Oh, and I ran away to look for my biological father. Found him too, through some of my mother's old..."friends" that used to come by regularly at our house. Turns out my dad was a big douchebag and never wanted me in the first place. I still tried to stay with him, he was sick - mostly in the head - but eventually it got too much, so I ran back to my adoptive dad. But he had disappeared after leaving everything to me, since the police told him that I was with my real dad again and I was safe. So I used the money to educate myself, to try and be more like my second dad." said Jinyoung casually, beginning to load the centrifuge with samples again. 

"So you had an adoptive dad who actually loved you, but you ran away and then you never found him again. All because Jaebeom rejected you?" 

"Yeah..."

"Okay...is that all?"

"Pretty much." 

"You're absolutely crazy Park Jinyoung." Mark sighed, dropping his head back against the wall behind his chair, exhausted. 

"Have you told Jaebeom all this?" he asked. 

"Are you kidding me?" Jinyoung returned incredulously. "He'll jump off the ship and swim to shore just to get away from me. He doesn't do well with emotions." 

"You two deserve each other then. You're both fucked up." Mark said, sighing again. "I still think you should tell him though. I know Jaebeom, you'd be surprised. He seems cold but he has a kind heart and I just know he's beating himself up for running away, even if he doesn't know what happened to you after that. Tell him, maybe he can figure out how to help you. It's definitely gotta be more productive than telling me." 

"I'm telling you because I feel like I can trust you Mark Hyung."

"Thanks. But don't be evasive. What about Jaebeom? Shouldn't you trust him more?" 

"It's not his guilt or pity that I want!" 

"Then what do you exactly want? Wait, don't tell me." said Mark, quickly putting up a hand as Jinyoung opened his mouth. "I can never predict what will come out of your mouth next. You have absolutely no filter." 

Jinyoung simply grinned in return. 

"Anyway, what's going on with you and Jackson?" he asked carefully, turning around to re-check the settings on the centrifuge. 

"Trying to change the subject are we?" 

"I could say the same to you." 

Mark didn't reply immediately, so Jinyoung turned back around and to his surprise, Mark actually seemed to be holding back a shy smile while fidgeting with a pen. 

"...I mean, he's sweet." he mumbled, his ears glowing a bright red. 

"Oh... _sweet_? Not wild and sexy, but _sweet_?" Jinyoung teased with a wide grin. 

"Don't laugh." Mark said with a grudging smile. "I just...these past few months, I've seen a different side to him. The way he fusses over you...it shows he has a heart. That he takes some relationships seriously atleast. We've been talking a lot lately and I think, I think we're good friends now." 

"Then what's stopping you from going all the way? He's good in bed too, I'll vouch for that." 

"Shut up!" Mark exclaimed, throwing the pen at him. "That's not what I'm looking for." 

Jinyoung dodged it and raised a skeptical brow. 

"I mean that's not _all_ I'm looking for." Mark corrected himself through clenched teeth. "You're still young, you won't understand. I'm 36. I want stability now, the comfort of permanency. Someone to come back home to. Do you get what I'm saying?" 

"Yeah I do, you want a family. Don't we all..." Jinyoung almost whispered the last part, his eyes far away. 

"But Jackson isn't ready for it." Mark continued, lost in his own troubles. 

"How do you know?" Jinyoung asked, shaking himself back to the present. 

"Come on Jinyoung. It's Jackson we're talking about." 

"Don't make assumptions." Jinyoung snapped. "How are you gonna know for sure, unless you talk to him about your feelings honestly?" 

"Why are you both so defensive? Jackson got mad at Jaebeom too, and he didn't even know what happened between you two that day. Calm down, I'm not attacking him alright." Mark grumbled. 

"He's my friend and he likes you. A lot. Has for a while now. I just want him to be happy, his feelings to be taken seriously. Is it too much to ask?" Jinyoung fumed. 

"No. I guess not." Mark conceded, looking down again, his entire face going pink now. 

"Good. Because I know more than anyone what it's like to have your love trodden upon like it's nothing but trash." 

Mark looked up at him with concern now. 

"Jinyoungie...why don't you take your own advice and be honest with Jaebeom?" he said. "He still thinks of you as a child acting up on being denied his favorite toy. And you haven't really given him a reason to think otherwise. Ever since you got here you've been constantly under his nose, trying to provoke him. I'm sure if you talked to him in a more mature manner, you guys could figure things out." 

"He doesn't wanna talk to me."

"Now how do _you_ know that?" 

"Because I think I messed up big this time." said Jinyoung, going back to loading a second set of samples. 

"Jinyoung?" 

"What?" Jinyoung shot back, his own ears going red now. 

"Why is Jaebeom avoiding you? What did you exactly do to him that day?" 

There was a long, quiet moment as Jinyoung went completely still. 

"I woke something up in him." he said quietly. "Something I didn't know existed until now and I'm sure, neither did he." 

"What do you mean?" 

"He's not afraid of me, hyung." said Jinyoung, turning back around to look at Mark directly, 

"He's afraid of himself."

*


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One step forward, ten steps back.

Several more months passed by before Jaebeom called another major meeting in the control room, this time with all heads of departments as well as their Senior Research Fellows and technicians. 

Jinyoung had been on the ship for over a year now, biding his time, getting to know the workings of every department and how they all exchanged information to work together. He was invited to the meeting by Bambam. They had started to get along a bit, once Jinyoung had learned to push his ego aside and actually try and treat Bambam like a senior. 

"You might have all heard the rumors by now." Jaebeom said with an uncharacteristically bright grin, almost bouncing on his feet with excitement as he faced them from behind his laptop in the projector room, glowing by the light of the screen behind him like an ethereal being about to show them the path to Nirvana. "Our latest water samples have tested positive for biofilms. We have retested them quantitatively several times to make sure and there's only a 5% error percentage."

"Only 5%?" several of them exclaimed, his excitement infecting everyone slowly but surely. "You're kidding me. That's almost impossible!" said another in disbelief. 

"Only 5%." Jaebeom confirmed, his grin growing impossibly wider. "That means we are 100% sure that if the venom is indeed from the silver gunray, we are close."

Jaebeom looked around at each of their eager faces, the room had gone unnaturally still after his declaration. 

"What are you all waiting for? Start preparing, we're going on a hunt!" Jaebeom yelled, making everyone jump and then laugh with giddiness as they all hollered in celebration and hugged each other. 

Years of drifting around performing tests and collecting data, of trials and major errors and finally, finally they were on to the next step. Jaebeom looked around at all the whooping faces of the younger and older scientists alike. His family for over six years. Every face shining with happy tears as they thumped him on the back one by one. It was as if they'd already found Eden even though they still had to catch the gunray and match its venom to Dr. Woochan's sample. 

Suddenly, there was a warm, gentle hand on his arm. He turned sideways, expecting it to be Mark. But it was Jinyoung. 

"Congratulations." said Jinyoung, with his bright, glowing smile that had been directed towards everyone in the past year but Jaebeom. 

Not that Jaebeom had noticed. Ofcourse he hadn't. He was a 35 year old grown up man, not a petty teenager, prone to be jealous over little things like that. 

Or so he had tried to convince himself through clenched teeth everytime he had come across Jinyoung laughing with someone else. Jinyoung had been working harder than anyone, trying to make up for his lack of qualifications and Jaebeom had seen it, feeling a touch of pride alongwith other feelings desperately trying to take over. 

He had caught himself thinking less and less of Jinyoung as Dr. Woochan's adoptive son and more and more of Jinyoung as his own person. How could he have not seen, that Jinyoung had practically brought himself up after Dr. Woochan's disappearance? How could he not have asked Jinyoung about it when they met again, drowned in his own grief, too selfish to think about the boy who had loved him so much. Who still loved him, despite everything. No wonder Jinyoung had lashed out, frustrated and disappointed in the Lim Jaebeom he had idolized for years. 

Perhaps Jinyoung had finally given up on his delusions about their "love". 

Jaebeom expected to feel relieved but suddenly, it didn't seem like a very pleasant thought. He quickly managed to push it aside before it formed completely into a "why". 

"Thank you." said Jaebeom, returning Jinyoung's smile with a genuine one of his own. He was feeling particularly fond of Jinyoung at the moment, seeing as without him generously supplying them with Dr. Woochan's journals and venom sample, the mission would have taken them atleast several more years, going by Dr. Woochan's own timeline. 

"Can I get a hug?" Jinyoung asked, looking slightly nervous. 

Jaebeom searched Jinyoung's face and decided to give in. It was just a harmless hug after all. Nothing to it. He opened his arms and let Jinyoung slide his arms around his neck.

Well this is different, Jaebeom realized with a jolt. They had hugged so many times before, but he had never really paid attention, breaking the hugs to ruffle Jinyoung's hair fondly, back when Jinyoung was just a lanky teenager.

But Jinyoung had definitely grown now, a few inches shorter still but almost the same height as him. And muscular, perhaps even more than him. There was power in his shoulders, despite being narrower than Jaebeom's. He put his arms hesitantly around Jinyoung's slender waist, it felt taught, just the size to fit perfectly into his hands, Jinyoung was clearly into fitness and Jaebeom resisted the urge to feel for abs. 

Jaebeom wasn't one to be dramatic, but as soon as Jinyoung let out a sigh and buried his face into his neck, he felt their heartbeats align, a warmth spreading outwards, from his heart towards all the extremities of his body, from his ears down to his fingers and toes. Jinyoung smelled sweet, fresh, pure.

Caught unawares, Jaebeom nuzzled Jinyoung's hair behind his ear. He let his arms encircle Jinyoung's waist further and his grip tightened every second that they failed to pull apart, engulfing him in a bear hug until he was leaning back against the table from Jaebeom's weight. 

"Umm, Dr. Lim? Jaebeom?" came Jinyoung's muffled voice, sounding slightly breathless. 

"Hmm?" 

"Hyung?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Too tight."

Jaebeom opened his eyes and it took him a moment to register the situation. When he did, he almost jumped back, letting go of Jinyoung immediately, the noises around them suddenly spilling back in his ears. He hadn't even realized that he'd been almost choking Jinyoung with how tight he was hugging him. 

Shit. 

"Sorry, I was, uh...just... sorry." Jaebeom finished lamely, biting his lip, his face burning even as his eyes refused to leave Jinyoung's face. 

"I didn't say I didn't like it." Jinyoung replied quietly, looking back at him in all seriousness. 

Jaebeom was lost, searching Jinyoung's face to detect even a hint of humor. There was none. He looked beautiful like that, red faced and flustered. He was dressed in a form fitting black turtleneck with the sleeves rolled up and black slacks to match. He looked nice, very nice, and mature, Jaebeom realized. Gone was the kid he had teased and wrestled with. 

How the hell was he supposed to respond now? 

"Um...I'll see you around?" Jinyoung mumbled uncertainly, scratching his head, his face flushing red when Jaebeom continued to stare without a word. 

He turned left, then right, looking more flustered by the second, before escaping quickly to where Bambam and Yugyeom stood whispering to each other in a corner. Luckily, everyone seemed too busy yapping to notice. 

Jaebeom's gaze followed him all the way. He knew Jinyoung must have felt it too, but he continued to stare at Jinyoung's retreating back, his eyes stopping at Jinyoung's well defined hips shamelessly, too mesmerized to collect himself yet. 

It was just a harmless hug. Nothing to it. So why did he not want to let go? 

*

"Beommah, can I have a word?" Jackson asked, leaning in around his office door. 

"Yeah, what is it?" said Jaebeom, clearing his throat and forcing his thoughts back to the task at hand. 

He had been going through his papers, checking and rechecking every data and co-ordinates his team had been working on with Shownu. But before he knew it, he had become lost in thoughts about Jinyoung - his flushed face, his nervous hands fidgeting with his fingers as he asked for a hug, his satisfied grin as he lay trapped under Jaebeom's grip that day they'd fought, his heavy breathing as Jaebeom almost crushed him in a hug at the meeting... 

"Are you listening?" Jackson asked, jumping back to sit on the counter that ran around Jaebeom's office, littered with papers and files on every surface that wasn't occupied by his light microscope and other basic instruments. 

"Yeah...Yeah, I'm listening." Jaebeom said quickly, swiveling around in his chair and wincing at the papers getting crushed under Jackson's butt. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before putting them back on. Work wasn't the only thing giving him sleepless nights anymore. 

They were preparing to take the submarine out. It was a risky and time sensitive process, not to mention expensive. They still had several weeks of preparation ahead of them. They needed to be as efficient and accurate as possible. They couldn't just drift around aimlessly underwater, disturbing the natural habitat and the creatures that lived there. They had all the required permits, again thanks to Jackson's company, but there was still a limit to how much time they could spend down there and what they could do at a time. 

Bambam's team had managed to sequence 50% of the venom protein, another great news, but they still needed more to be completely sure of the match if they managed to get the fresh sample. 

The initial jubilation had quickly turned into nervousness. Each department putting in sleepless nights, making sure they were absolutely ready for this next extremely important mission. 

"I want you to bring Jinyoung in the sub with your crew." said Jackson. 

"Excuse me?" Jaebeom asked incredulously. 

"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. The final mission will be too risky. Take him with you on this one. He's adamant, he wants to go."

"Jackson. Stop joking. What makes you think this one isn't risky? You've been in every damn meeting, you know the risks involved."

"Jinyoung wants to go." said Jackson shrugging. "I can't say no to him."

Jaebeom opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to generate a sentence coherent enough to explain the absolute ridiculousness of Jackson's request. 

"Jackson..."

"Listen. Sort this out with him alright. I'm not trying to overstep your authority but I promised him I'll try and talk to you." said Jackson, jumping down and starting to make his way towards the door. 

"Jackson. Hey! Jackson!" Jaebeom called as Jackson practically ran out of the office. 

"What in the world..."

Shock quickly being replaced by anger, Jaebeom slammed his office door shut behind him and marched his way down to Jinyoung's cabin, furious. It was three in the morning, Jinyoung could be asleep. It was strange in itself that Jackson was still up, until he remembered that Mark liked to work in his lab well into the wee hours of the night. 

He'd have to wake Jinyoung up, but this was far too important and just plain ridiculous for Jaebeom to wait until morning. He didn't have time for this. He thought Jinyoung had come to his senses in the past year, grown up a bit. But clearly he still needed to be taught a few lessons.

He rapped on Jinyoung's door, still fuming with anger. Jinyoung opened the door on the second knock itself, as if he'd been waiting for Jaebeom. Jaebeom pushed the thought aside as he paused to look at Jinyoung, dressed in a snug, sleeveless shirt and baggy pyjama pants showing off every curve of his body in all its glory. 

"You gonna stare all night?" Jinyoung sniggered, crossing his arms. 

Suddenly, Jaebeom couldn't remember why he was there. 

"Come in." Said Jinyoung turning around and sitting down on his tiny single bed, leaning back on his arms and spreading his legs comfortably. 

Jaebeom watched the muscles in his biceps move, forcing his eyes to stay away from his crotch. 

He collected himself then and shut the door quietly behind him, leaning back against it and crossing his own arms before pinning Jinyoung with a long, calculating look. 

"So you want to go down in the sub?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" 

"Isn't it obvious?" 

"Why get Jackson to talk to me? Why not come to me yourself?" 

"Wait..." Jinyoung said, looking surprised as he shifted forward, his elbows resting on his thighs now. "Is that your only issue, that I went to Jackson instead of coming to you first? Is it ego or are you jealous I wonder?" He asked with a smirk. 

"I don't give a shit if you came to me first or your sugar daddy. All I care about is why do you think you're more qualified than a senior technician to be part of the crew? You know we have limited space." 

Jaebeom expected Jinyoung to be offended, but instead, his smirk only widened. 

"Definitely jealous." he declared, getting up off the bed to walk slowly towards Jaebeom. 

One step, two step and he was already too close for comfort. 

"You know I could get Jackson to stop this entire operation right? He's very fond of me. Very." 

"You really think you hold that much power?" Jaebeom sneered, staring at his plush lips. 

"I do actually." Jinyoung whispered, licking his lips. Jaebeom followed the movement with his eyes, their chests practically touching now. "If I can get you to come all the way down to my bedroom at this hour when you could have chosen any other time and place to scold me, then yes, I do hold some significant power."

Jaebeom closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Wrong move, as Jinyoung's scent overpowered him completely. He felt something snap inside him. His brain froze. 

*

"Are you mad Hyung? Does it make you angry, me being closer to someone else, when I've always been yours until now?" Jinyoung continued, breathing on Jaebeom's lips. "Do you want to punish me for my betrayal?" 

Jaebeom's eyes flew open and he pushed Jinyoung suddenly, so hard that Jinyoung staggered back with a yelp, tripping on his own feet and falling down on his bed, goosebumps erupted all over his body and he shuddered as he looked up at Jaebeom with a combination of fear and thrill. 

Jaebeom's eyes were different now, filled with something unrecognizable as he moved towards him slowly. Jinyoung had seen a hint of it that day they'd fought and again at the meeting when they'd hugged so tightly. His eyes were empty of the gentleness Jinyoung had always seen in them. 

They showed no mercy. 

*

Mark and Jackson jumped, breathing heavily after a long session of aggressive making out on the bed, their arms still wrapped around each other. 

There was another loud pounding on Jackson's door. 

"Jackson! Open up! Please!" sobbed a familiar voice. 

"Shit. It's Jinyoung." said Jackson, letting go of Mark immediately and scrambling off his bed to open the door. 

He managed to steady himself just in time as Jinyoung threw himself into his arms, sobbing hysterically. 

"Nyoung, are you okay? What happened?" Mark asked from behind, exchanging a worried look with Jackson as he quickly joined them to rub Jinyoung's arms soothingly from the back. 

It took them several minutes of coaxing to get Jinyoung to let go off Jackson's sweater and let them lead him to the bed. 

"Jinyoungie, what happened? Please, tell me." said Jackson, crouching down at Jinyoung's knee and holding his face gently with both hands while Mark held Jinyoung from the side. 

"Jae-Jaebeom...He c-came to see me in my r-room." Jinyoung choked out.

Jackson's face hardened as he remembered his last conversation with Jaebeom earlier.

"What did he do?" he asked quietly. 

"It's not h-him. It's m-me." Jinyoung cried, gasping for air as fresh sobs racked his body. "I-I said some-something...terrible."

Both Mark and Jackson were taken aback. 

"When are you going to learn to put a filter on your mouth Jinyoungah..." Jackson sighed, earning himself a stern look from Mark. 

"What happened Jinyoungie? Tell us, maybe we can help." Mark said, giving Jinyoung a reassuring squeeze. That's when he noticed something odd. 

"Wait, this is the hoodie Jaebeom wears every night. Why are you wearing this?" Mark asked quietly while Jackson looked at him in surprise before turning back to check for himself. Jinyoung was indeed wearing a large black hoodie with a palm tree logo on it, too wide on the shoulders to be his. 

"Jinyoungie, tell us what happened. What did you do?" Jackson asked more urgently. 

Jinyoung cried harder than ever, clutching on the hem of the hoodie as if for support before looking up at Jackson with swollen, red eyes brimming with tears. 

"I made him hate me."

*


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets

"Are you feeling okay? Does it hurt a lot?" Jaebeom asked. 

Jinyoung pulled his head back from where it had been resting on Jaebeom's shoulder and gave him an exasperated look. 

" _Now_ you're worried, jerk?" 

"I'm sorry Nyoungie." Jaebeom chuckled, caressing Jinyoung's bottom through his pyjama pants, that were hiding the angry red blotches left by Jaebeom's hand earlier. 

"Say it again. It sounds so good when you say it." said Jinyoung, almost moaning with satisfaction. 

He sat on Jaebeom's lap, his hands looped around his neck while Jaebeom lay against the headboard, kissing Jinyoung lazily wherever he could reach. Jaebeom had managed to clean them both up and pulled on their pants. But he didn't seem to want to leave yet, or untie Jinyoung's wrists. Not that Jinyoung wanted him to.

"Nyoungie." said Jaebeom with a smile. 

"You forgot the sorry part."

"Brat."

"How long do I have to stay like this anyway?" Jinyoung pouted, playing with the ends of Jaebeom's hair. 

"Until I've had my fill of you." said Jaebeom, his eyes and hands gently caressing the quickly purpling marks on almost every inch of Jinyoung's toned body. 

"My hands are still tied you know." 

"As they should be, with the amount of crazy shit you pull all the time. You just can't stay still, can you?" 

Jinyoung giggled and turned his head sideways as Jaebeom bit his ear playfully. His eyes fell on Jaebeom's t-shirt and hoodie lying in a heap on the floor. His own sleeveless shirt was unsalvageable after the way Jaebeom had looped and knotted it around his wrists because he kept trying to rush him while Jaebeom wanted to take his time. 

"Can I have that hoodie?" 

"It's too big. Even for me. I'll get you another one." Jaebeom said, nosing Jinyoung's neck as if memorizing his scent. 

"No, I want _that_ one." 

"Fine. You can have it." Jaebeom sighed, turning his head to lay kisses on his arm. 

"Why are you all so easy? Even Jackson, he practically gives in to everyone of my whims. Sometimes I do things just to test his limits you know, but he doesn't even bat an eye." 

"Maybe because you're such an adorable brat?" 

"Adorable brat? You're just like Jackson, too soft. I tend to lose control sometimes, but then I manage to behave myself once I'm disciplined. For a while atleast. I was so miserable at Dr. Woochan's after you left, because he was so nice to me. Just imagine! I loved him, but on some days, all the niceness would get too much and I'd try to provoke him, but he'd never get mad you know, never scolded me for my insolence like you used to."

Jaebeom wiped the tear that ran down Jinyoung's cheek without him noticing. 

"I can take a lot more pain than you think." Jinyoung mumbled. 

"And I can give you a lot more, but I don't want to. Not right now atleast. Besides you talk too much. Jackson might go easy on you, I won't." He grinned, trying to take Jinyoung's mind away from depressing topics. 

"And that's why I love you and not Jackson." Jinyoung said, kissing Jaebeom on the nose. "I can hardly wait. I want to do everything with you Hyung. Everything. I love you so much, sometimes I feel like I could die." 

"Don't say things like that Jinyoungie. No one's worth dying for."

"Some people are." Jinyoung insisted. "You have no idea the lengths I could go to for you, hyung. Try me. Right now."

"And here's your first lesson, patience." said Jaebeom, sliding his hands down to Jinyoung's butt and giving it a light rap, but not as hard as earlier. 

Jinyoung was scaring him again and he hadn't yet learned how to handle him when he got all excited like that. He still needed time. He liked Jinyoung a lot, adored him even, but he wasn't in love yet and he wanted to be careful not to hurt Jinyoung even more than he'd already been hurt. He was so delicate, so pure, Jaebeom could easily crush him, taint him, if he lost control.

He almost did lose control, when Jinyoung cornered him against the door, but he reminded himself just in time that he needed to be careful not to break Jinyoung again, to have an out ready for Jinyoung if he ever wanted to leave the relationship, if it all got too much. Before Jaebeom caused any permanent damage.

Jinyoung's penchant for physical punishment probably stemmed from his troubled childhood. It was the only form of love he had ever known. But Jaebeom didn't want to make assumptions, there were perfectly normal people with perfectly normal pasts who were into things like that too. So it was best just to indulge him. 

But only up to a certain level before he lost control himself. 

"Oh come on! You have no idea of how much I can take, you still think of me as a kid!" said Jinyoung, as if reading his mind. 

"Ofcourse I don't still think of you as a kid Jinyoungie, or I wouldn't even be here right now. You really need to control that tongue of yours." 

"Teach me then." 

"All in good time. I don't want to scare you away."

"Oh please, it's going to take a lot more than this vanilla stuff to scare me away." 

"What is with you and punishments?" Jaebeom asked, genuinely curious. 

"I don't know. I didn't realize it until after I met Dr. Woochan and all the constant niceness almost made me puke. I like what I like and I'm not ashamed of it." 

Jaebeom just hummed absently. 

"And you're one to talk. I didn't know you could hit that hard. Put some ointment on my butt before you leave jerk. My nipples are sore too. Maybe I should just walk around naked for a day or two." Jinyoung groaned dramatically. 

"Don't you fucking dare!" 

"Oh come on. You really think I'd do that?" 

"Yes I do actually. There's no saying what you'll do next." said Jaebeom earnestly. 

Jinyoung giggled again. 

"Fair enough. But I'm exhausted. And it's all your fault." Jinyoung pouted, dropping his head on jaebeom' s shoulder and closing his eyes in contentment. 

"And yet you're begging for more." Jaebeom chuckled, stroking his hair gently. 

"If you're gonna be with someone as fit as me, you better have more stamina. Starting tomorrow, we're gonna work out together." Jinyoung mumbled into his shoulder. 

"I do work out." 

"Well I'm not satisfied."

"You're really going to make me exercise, not for my health but because you want to have sex for a longer time?" 

"Pretty much, yeah." 

"You're insane. What am I gonna do with you Jinyoung?" 

"Kiss me." 

And so Jaebeom did, smiling through a soft gentle kiss.

*

Jinyoung felt like his heart would burst with giddiness. It felt like a dream. Jaebeom was the only thing that had ever been beyond his grasp, and now he had him. He felt invincible, like he could simply point at something and it would be his. 

"Let me come on the sub with you Hyung. You can have more of this, anywhere you want, anytime you want. Just let me come. Please?" 

"I can't Nyoungie. It's too dangerous." 

"I'm not a child!" Jinyoung exclaimed indignantly. "I can take care of myself! Please, I wanna go too! Just let me come on this mission! I could help you de-stress if nothing else, please, please, please?!" 

"Are you trying to seduce me into saying yes?" Jaebeom teased. 

"Is it working?" 

"You're adorable you know that?" Jaebeom laughed, kissing him again. 

"I'm serious Hyung. I don't want to go back home empty handed." 

"Why would you go back empty handed?" Jaebeom asked, a slight frown marring his smile. 

"Well there's no guarantee we'll find the Lost City even if we do manage to catch a gunray." 

Jaebeom's face hardened suddenly and Jinyoung could sense that he'd said the wrong thing. But it was too late to back out now. 

"What do you mean by that exactly?" Jaebeom asked quietly. 

Jinyoung felt the fear rise in him again. But this time, there was no thrill, just plain fear. 

"I just meant...okay, let's face it, even if we find the damn fish, it's not like dad left any valid proof that it's connected to The Lost City in any way. A sentence in the margins means nothing." 

"Are you questioning him? Just like everyone else?" 

"It's not a religion hyung. We're both scientists. Think rationally, that's our job." 

"No." said Jaebeom, removing Jinyoung's arms from around his neck and untying his wrists. "No scientific discovery would have ever been made without blind faith. People have questioned and disbelieved in every damn thing that we take for granted today. Our job is to think beyond what a normal human can imagine and then turn it into a reality using science. _That's_ our fucking job! I can't believe this! Why are you even on this ship?" 

He pushed Jinyoung off his lap roughly before getting off the bed and picking up his remaining clothes. 

"Isn't it obvious?" Jinyoung asked, the fear growing in his heart every second, yet unable to control his mouth. 

"Fuck, Jinyoung! I know you never lie, so tell me honestly, are you really just here for the glory? The money? Or is this some kind of revenge for me leaving you?" Jaebeom asked, pulling his shirt on angrily. 

"Well I _was_ mad at you at first and I did feel guilty for breaking dad's heart when I ran away, but after spending so much time here I've realized how much good you're doing for the world, how many people your work is going to benefit...And now we have each other, isn't that enough?" Jinyoung asked, his eyes filling with tears. 

"No it's not enough! The things we have achieved until now, the discoveries we have made, these are all just a bonus! How can you lose sight of the end goal? Dr. Woochan's dream? How do you even expect me to abandon the mission before seeing it through until the end? You're his son!" 

"I'm not! Stop saying that! I love him and he loved me but I'll never be his son! You're putting so much pressure on me, on yourself, and for what? Is this why you hold yourself back everytime you want to touch me? Dad would have been happy to see us together if he was alive today, why can't you get this through your thick skull Lim Jaebeom? Why are you so fucking blind? You act like you were in love with him or something!"

"Because I was...And I think you realized it too. Or you wouldn't have mentioned it." 

Jinyoung didn't deny it. He couldn't. 

"Are you still...?" he asked, afraid of the answer. 

"No." said Jaebeom firmly. "It was a long time ago and I got over it. But I still respect him as my mentor, he meant too much for me to let you throw his life's work under the bus so casually. I'm trying to look past his relationship with you to give _our_ relationship a chance but you just have to go and ruin everything!" Jaebeom exclaimed, picking up Jinyoung's abandoned shirt from the bed and throwing it across the room in frustration, making Jinyoung flinch. 

"Shouldn't you care about my feelings more than his?" Jinyoung yelled back, glaring at him with wet, panicked eyes. "He didn't love you, not one bit! The only one he ever loved was his son, me! But _I_ love you! I've _always_ loved you! And I'm right here infront of you! Yet you keep pulling away, because of a dead man! God, you're so pathetic!" 

For a second, Jinyoung thought Jaebeom would hit him. But Jaebeom simply picked up his hoodie from the floor and pushed it against Jinyoung's bare chest. 

"Don't I know it already?" he said in a shaky voice, before walking out of Jinyoung's room and shutting the door behind him with a snap. 

Jinyoung pulled on the hoodie as if in a daze. He had not meant to say any of it. All of Jaebeom's life's work and he'd just thrown water over everything. Why had he said it? And that surge of jealousy over what? A man whom he loved like a father, no matter how short their time together? A man who had died loving him like his own son? 

Unbidden, the pain in his chest hit him with all its intensity and a strange gurgling noise began in his throat. Before he knew it, he was having a full blown panic attack. 

There was only one thing to do. He jumped off the bed, flung his door open and ran down the corridor with bare feet, making his way over to Jackson's room right at the end, grateful that they were the only two occupants on this part of the floor. 

So no one could hear his barely healed heart shattering into a thousand pieces again. 

*

Jackson knocked softly on Mark's door and let himself in, making his way to the bed and into Mark's open arms, settling face down on his chest exhausted. 

"How's Jinyoung?"

"Finally asleep. He wouldn't let go of my hand, poor kid. He's suffered a lot."

"We sound like his parents." Mark giggled. 

"Don't be disgusting. You know I've fucked him right?" Jackson groaned. 

"Can you not be so blunt?" Mark shot back, hitting him on the shoulder. "You and Jinyoung are the same. You should both be kept muzzled, for your own good."

"You're into some kinky shit Tuan."

"Shut up."

"I just want him to be okay." Jackson sighed. "I love him you know, in a way. I'm his closest friend, his best friend, weird as it might seem. I don't want him to get hurt...It kills me to see him like this."

"I know...I know you two are very close. I should feel jealous, but strangely I don't." Mark said, stroking his hair gently. 

"This is why I like you so much." said Jackson, kissing Mark's hand gently. 

"How did you guys even meet?" 

A few long moments passed before Jackson spoke. 

"Can I tell you a secret?" 

"Sure."

"You have to promise not to hate me. And the only reason I'm telling you this is because I want us to go steady. I want to build a life with you Yien. We can't do that if I don't come clean with you right now." 

"Okay, you're scaring me, but go ahead. I'll try to keep my mind open, I promise." 

"You know who Jinyoung's dad is?" 

"Not really." said Mark slowly. "Come to think of it, I've never asked him about his family." 

"His dad is Dr. Woochan." 

"What? Really?" Mark asked, shocked. 

"Yes. And..." 

"And what?" 

"I think my father killed him." 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to stress that scientists can get very emotionally attached to their research and their mentors. They have done crazier things, so Jaebeom's reaction to Jinyoung's words is kind of natural. And I know this happened right when Jaebeom had made the resolve not to hurt Jinyoung but you know things never go according to plan. 
> 
> As always, thank you all for your kind feedback, let me know what you guys think of the story so far!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion and growing up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ:
> 
> Hi guys, I haven't edited this well because of lack of time and the length, so please forgive some errors, I'll fix them asap. 
> 
> This chapter is quite long because it's very important for establishing JJP's emotional connect before Jaebeom leaves on his mission. 
> 
> I've divided this chapter into three sections. The middle section is the longest and it's all love-making, so if you want to skip it, you can read the first and last section and it will all still be continuous. 
> 
> I debated on placing the middle section in a stand alone, skippable chapter, but the emotions attached to the love-making part in this is too important for me to just cast aside like that. And once I started writing it, I just had to go all the way. This is the first time I've written it in such detail and I hope it was tastefully done. 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts, I love to read your comments everyday. 💚

Jaebeom jumped as a knock startled him out of his slumber. He couldn't remember when he'd dozed off in the middle of his revisions, his neck arched painfully, his head almost hanging off the back of his chair. 

He straightened his glasses and wiped his mouth, making a face at the drool that came off. He quickly searched around his work desk for some wet tissues to wipe it off and swished a big gulp of energy drink around his mouth before saying, "Come in." in a thick voice, still full of sleep, long overdue. 

The door opened hesitantly, revealing a nervous Jinyoung with a tiny waterproof pouch in his hand. Jaebeom wrestled with the sudden urge to sweep him up into his arms and kiss the worried crease from his forehead away, when he saw his own black hoodie almost falling off Jinyoung's shoulder. 

"I heard you're taking the sub out tomorrow. So I came to see you." Jinyoung said in a small voice, shuffling his feet. 

"Shut the door behind you." said Jaebeom firmly, but not unkindly. 

Jinyoung complied mutely, before turning around and holding out the pouch towards him with a trembling hand. 

Jaebeom was curious, very curious. But Jinyoung's hand was trembling and his curiosity could wait. He sighed again. Jinyoung was a 25 year old adult and had probably experienced more of life's harsh realities than Jaebeom, and yet here he was, standing like a child infront of Jaebeom like he expected to be scolded any second. Jaebeom hadn't expected to miss him _that_ much. He couldn't bear it anymore, so he held out his hand. 

"Come here." he said, gently. 

Jinyoung moved towards him, still nervous, and made to place the pouch in his hand, but instead, Jaebeom grabbed his wrist and pulled him in to stand between his legs. He moved his hand to thread his fingers through Jinyoung's, making the pouch fall to the rug under his chair and placed the other hand around Jinyoung's waist, rubbing his lower back soothingly. 

"Calm down Jinyoung. I'm not going to get mad again."

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" Jinyoung asked immediately, his eyes brimming with unspilled tears. 

Jaebeom could feel Jinyoung trembling for himself now and his heart ached as he remembered that he was the cause. 

"Sit down." he said, patting his thigh. 

Jinyoung allowed himself to be seated and embraced, winding an arm around Jaebeom's neck possessively but still sniffing occasionally. He was clearly still upset and refused to look Jaebeom in the eye, yet he remained in his seat obediently, picking at the front of Jaebeom's sweater with his free hand. Jinyoung was heavy, what with all his muscles, yet Jaebeom felt the weight comfortable, soothing even, like Jinyoung belonged there, in his arms. 

"I'm sorry, for yelling at you." Jaebeom said. "I lost control. I shouldn't have gotten so upset, I'm really sorry Jinyoungie. I'll try hard not to let it happen again."

"So you're not dumping me?" Jinyoung asked, looking up finally with imploring eyes. 

"Ofcourse not!" Jaebeom exclaimed, genuinely surprised. "People fight all the time, it doesn't mean they break up over every damn argument. We're not children."

"So you don't hate me."

"Ofcourse I don't hate you. I could never hate you." 

"Then why didn't you talk to me for a whole week? Jinyoung asked, angry now. 

"I thought we both needed some time. Jinyoungie..." Jaebeom sighed yet again. "I'm not perfect, especially when it comes to relationships, it takes time for me to process things. And we both have a job to do, we can't afford to be distracted. But that does not mean that you're not important to me. Please, don't ever think that."

Jinyoung didn't say anything but Jaebeom could feel the disbelief rolling off him, so he tried again, 

"I should've known how it would make you feel, especially when I ran away the last time you told me about your feelings. But I'm not running away this time Jinyoungie. I'll always be with you, even if we're not together in the future or if something happens that's out of our control, I'll still watch over you."

"How can you watch over me when you're not with me? Don't talk nonsense."

"I've always been with you, haven't I? Here?" said Jaebeom, placing a hand on Jinyoung's heart.

"Yes..." said Jinyoung. 

"And now you'll be with me, here." said Jaebeom, placing Jinyoung's hand over his own heart. "And I'm sorry for making you doubt that."

"But I was the one who said all those terrible things, why are you sorry?" Jinyoung sniffed. 

"Well I haven't heard you apologize for you behaviour yet, so I thought I should say it first."

"I don't do apologies like that."

"Ofcourse you don't." Jaebeom said, smiling exasperatedly. 

"You have to punish me first."

That wiped the smile off Jaebeom's face quickly. 

"Jinyoungie..." he groaned, closing his eyes tiredly. 

"What? I thought we'd come to an understanding. If we're still in a relationship then we have to meet halfway."

"Jinyoung, do you think it's easy for me? There's so much I want to do to you but I can't. And no, it's not because of Dr. Woochan." said Jaebeom firmly, when Jinyoung opened his mouth to argue. "It's because of how inexperienced you are in the matters of love. I think I'm right when I say that you found one way of love making that you really enjoyed and that's the only thing you've ever let your partners do. Nothing more, nothing less. Am I right?"

"Okay...but, I know you think I'm this fragile, breakable thing, I could see you straining to hold yourself back that night we had sex, but please, Hyung, I can take it. I'm strong. This is how I like it. And I know, I can see that you like it too." Jinyoung said defiantly. 

Jinyoung grabbed Jaebeom's face with both hands and they kissed, long and passionate, their lips gliding against each other smoothly, tongues dancing around each other in their warm embrace. It was a few long moments before they broke away, gasping for air. 

"Hyung, please." Jinyoung whispered, panting so hard that Jaebeom was sure he could hear his heartbeat. "I want to show you that you're worthy of love, every bit of you, even this part of you that you hide away from the world so desperately. Show it to me Hyung, please. I promise you won't scare me away. Please, just let go of everything, just this once, and I'll never ever doubt our relationship again." 

And so, Jaebeom did. 

*

There was no more softness in Jaebeom's eyes, instead they held the same intense hunger that had been there that night they'd first made love. And Jinyoung was sure it reflected in his own eyes. They kissed again, their lips molded together, tongues sliding against each other, heads moving in synchrony to devour as much as possible. 

Jinyoung grabbed the front of Jaebeom's sweater and walked backwards without breaking the kiss, which was made difficult by how desperately they both pulled their clothes off. 

He had been trying to maneuver them to the counter that held Jaebeom's instruments and paper work, but all he managed to do was crash into the sharp edge of the wood painfully and let out an involuntary yelp, finally breaking away. Jaebeom turned him around quickly in concern. 

"Here?" he asked, placing a palm gingerly against Jinyoung's lower back that had hit the edge. 

"Yeah." Jinyoung whispered back, watching the nerve in Jaebeom's neck bulge from the strain of holding himself back out of concern for him, making Jinyoung fall in love with him all over again. "But it's okay, it wasn't too hard, I just got surprised that's all-" 

The rest of his sentence was cut off in a shudder as he felt Jaebeom's soft lips against the spot. He placed both hands on the counter for support, crushing several stray sheets of paper in the process, and closed his eyes against the overwhelming sensations. Jaebeom kissed his way up his back, still so soft and gentle, until he reached his neck, his hands sliding along Jinyoung's front, until he had one hand resting against Jinyoung's heart and the other holding his waist firmly, his lips nuzzling the sensitive spot on his neck.

Jinyoung moved his head to the side to make space and Jaebeom trailed his tongue along his neck in a long, wet stripe, starting from his shoulder to his ear. Jinyoung's breathe hitched and he threw his head back against Jaebeom's shoulder, right as his hand slid in between Jinyoung's thighs. He could feel Jaebeom's arousal against his hips from behind. As he felt himself get closer to the edge, he grabbed his wrist to stop him. 

"On the floor. The rug's soft." he panted. 

"It's stinging, isn't it?" Jaebeom asked him with a knowing look, brushing the bruise on his lower back gently with his fingers. 

"It was just a bump. Don't stop." Jinyoung replied furiously, grabbing Jaebeom's hair and pulling his mouth against his neck again. Jaebeom complied by giving him a few gentle bites before letting go completely. 

"Wait for me. Don't move." Jaebeom whispered in his ear sternly, making Jinyoung shudder. 

"Where are you going?" Jinyoung whined. 

"I said wait." said Jaebeom, turning around and walking over to a mini freezer next to his desk that probably held his drinks, leaving Jinyoung standing there naked. 

But before Jinyoung could get too restless, Jaebeom was already back. Jinyoung craned his neck sideways and watched him with narrowed eyes as he held up a small tub of ice cubes in his hand. 

No matter what situation they were in, Jaebeom was never too far gone in the moment to neglect taking care of him. 

It was annoying as hell. 

"I don't need you to be my nurse, unless it's for role play. Just get on with it." Jinyoung snapped in irritation, placing Jaebeom's free hand against his butt. 

Jaebeom simply ignored him, holding his jaw and turning his head sideways for another bruising kiss. Without warning he clamped down on Jinyoung's lower lip harshly, causing him to let out a surprised grunt muffled against Jaebeom's mouth. Jaebeom grabbed his hair then, and pulled back gently but firmly until all Jinyoung could see was the ceiling. The warning was clear, so Jinyoung quickly decided to let him get on with what he was trying to do. 

"Jinyoungie, you said we had to meet halfway, I'm not always in the mood for hitting you. Spanking isn't, and shouldn't be, the only way you have sex. There's so much more I can do to you that will have you writhing in pleasure. Will you trust me?" Jaebeom asked in a quiet whisper, making Jinyoung shiver. 

"Yes. But, the others-" 

"There's a difference between me and the others, isn't it Jinyoungie? I'm not just a sex partner to you, am I?" 

"No! Ofcourse you're different, I love you!" Jinyoung said, scandalized that Jaebeom would even ask such a question. 

"Good. I can show you a whole different side of pleasure and pain. We can try so many things...but only if you are willing. I don't just want to fuck you, I want to make love to you too. Pain shouldn't be your only source of pleasure Jinyoungie, not when you have a lover. When I go down in the sub tomorrow, I want you to remember this night, every night until I come back to you. I'm trying to meet you halfway just like you said. Will you do it for me too, will you try?" 

If Jaebeom had asked him to jump off the ship in that low, husky voice, Jinyoung was sure he would have done it, without a doubt. 

"Yes." said Jinyoung, almost stuttering with fear and arousal at the same time. 

Jaebeom knew Jinyoung hated being babied and come to think of it, maybe Jinyoung wasn't the only one who knew how to rile people up. Jaebeom let go of his hair and rubbed his neck soothingly, placing the tub of ice on the counter next to Jinyoung and picking up a cube. Jinyoung closed his eyes tightly in anticipation of the ice on his back, but he still jumped when he felt the first touch of the burning cold against the tender bruise. 

"You okay?" Jaebeom asked. 

"Yeah..." said Jinyoung, letting out a shaky breath. "Keep going, feels good."

Jaebeom continued running smooth circles on and around the bruise while Jinyoung tried with all his might to stay still, clutching at the edge of the counter so hard that his fingers hurt. The ice was freezing cold ofcourse and yet Jinyoung felt heat in places he did not expect. 

He realized that Jaebeom had been quiet the whole time, too quiet. 

He turned his head to look at Jaebeom over his back, only to find him raking his glazed eyes all over his body while he massaged the ice on his back with his mouth slightly open. 

"Hyung?" 

Jaebeom looked at him then, but his eyes still held that hypnotized look. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jinyoung asked. 

"You're so unreal you know that? So fucking beautiful, I could just eat you up." Jaebeom replied in a hoarse voice, his throat clicking at the last sentence. He swallowed dryly, the look of wonder in his eyes still intact. 

Jinyoung didn't know what to say to that, so he turned his head back around quickly and flushed red. He still wasn't used to being the sole object of Jaebeom's focus. He looked around the room, anywhere but at Jaebeom. A few moments later, Jaebeom turned him around gently and lay him down on the rug covered floor, eyeing his lips hungrily. He grabbed the thin wifebeater he'd been wearing under his sweater and looped it around Jinyoung's wrists before knotting it the same way he'd done before. Jinyoung closed his eyes and wet his lips in anticipation. 

But the kiss didn't come. Instead, he felt the burning cold touch of ice on his right nipple and his eyes flew open. 

"Jaebeom, what...!" he yelped, struggling to get up.

But Jaebeom simply let out a satisfied chuckle and held him down with one hand on his tied wrists and the other on his hips as he moved the ice cube in his mouth across Jinyoung's chest towards the other nipple.

Jinyoung was strong though, so it wasn't long before he managed to free his bound wrists from Jaebeom's grip, grabbed him by his hair and pulled him back up for a long, hard kiss. The ice cube fell out of Jaebeom's mouth and onto the rug next to Jinyoung's head, a trickle of water smearing across both their chins as they kissed. Jinyoung looped his arms tightly around his neck and Jaebeom placed bruising kisses all the way down from his neck to his chest. 

He paused for a second there, to give Jinyoung a sly look before his warm tongue slid out to lap at an extremely cold and sensitive nipple. 

Jinyoung scrambled back out of Jaebeom's reach with another yelp. 

"God, Hyung don't..." 

"Whats wrong?" 

"It hurts."

"You don't like it? We can stop, just say the word Jinyoungie." said Jaebeom earnestly, keeping his distance. 

"No...I...I mean I was surprised...but I liked it." Jinyoung mumbled, his face a flaming red. 

"Speak louder."

"I said I liked it."

"I know." said Jaebeom with a smirk, crawling towards him and holding him down again for another kiss. Jinyoung let Jaebeom push his tongue into his mouth, losing himself in the bliss, until he felt the tiny flick of Jaebeom's finger on a rock hard nipple. 

Jinyoung jumped again with another helpless yelp and pushed Jaebeom off. Jaebeom fell off to his side laughing, his eyes creasing into crescents. 

"Do you want me to stop Jinyoungie?" 

"Wha-" 

"Do you?" 

"Ofcourse n-" 

"Because I will if you do." 

"No, I-" 

"Okay, let's stop here."

"No, NO!" Jinyoung almost shouted, pulling jaebeom back so forcefully that the wind was knocked out of him. His wrists hurt from the strain of being tied. 

"Good boy." said Jaebeom, going intense again. "You know what? You can scream all you want, there's no one around to hear you except me, but don't move away, do you understand?" 

"Okay, but if you make me come too soon, you get kicked out immediately and it's on you!" 

"This is my office." 

"Do I look like I care? Just go ahead and make me "feel good"." said Jinyoung, rolling his eyes. 

"Oh I will." Said Jaebeom straddling him again confidently. 

"Now scream." 

And Jinyoung almost did scream, as Jaebeom placed another ice cube on a nipple and then proceeded to clench his lips around the other one, sucking it in while Jinyoung grabbed on to his hair for dear life, unable to do anything else with his wrists tied. 

"Why are you doing this to me?" He cried, banging his head in frustration against the rug to distract himself from the overwhelming sensation, tears of pleasure-pain running down his cheeks. 

Jaebeom just hummed as he kissed his way to the other nipple and sucked it in too. 

All of Jinyoung's protests and desperate attempts to get jaebeom to move on to another place, any other place that wasn't as sensitive, were ignored completely. Jaebeom's grip around his hip kept getting tighter the more he struggled, his kisses were practically bites now, getting sharper and sharper every minute. Jinyoung thought he was strong, but apparently Jaebeom had been hiding some primal strength of his own, that had managed to surface only now. 

"Hyung, please! I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna come!" Jinyoung sobbed, almost ready to knee Jaebeom in the groin in order to make him move his mouth away. 

"Not so fast!" Jaebeom ordered, finally pulling away and wiping the slobber from his chin. Jinyoung groaned in frustration. His nipples were sore and wet and that itself was getting him even more painfully aroused by the minute. If Jaebeom didn't get inside him soon, he was going to have to use his martial arts training from years ago and take matters into his own hands. 

As if reading his mind, Jaebeom chuckled heartlessly again as he dabbed away the tears from Jinyoung's cheeks and pecked him on the lips lightly. 

"Weak." 

How Jinyoung hated that word. 

"Fuck you." said Jinyoung shakily, while Jaebeom stroked his hair gently and admired his handiwork, looking proudly at Jinyoung's flushed sweaty face, his marked up chest and his ravaged hair. 

"You look so beautiful like this. Hold on." 

"What? No." 

"Just a minute." Jaebeom called out, already on his way to grab something from his desk drawer, while Jinyoung concentrated on breathing, getting himself ready for the quick succession of overwhelming sensations that were sure to follow looking at a Jaebeom's excitement. 

"Here. This is a bracelet I made of leftover tube tops when I got bored waiting for some test results." said Jaebeom, tying a string made of different colored tube tops around Jinyoung's wrist, just above where the wifebeater was knotted. Jinyoung looked at Jaebeom in surprise. He'd seen Jaebeom's teasing older brother side, serious scientist side, responsible leader side, angry side, intense lover side...but he never knew that Jaebeom had a cute side too. 

"Thanks Hyung. It's really pretty." said Jinyoung earnestly, all frustration forgotten. 

"Turn around." 

"Hunh?" 

"On your stomach, now." 

"What are you gonna do?" Jinyoung asked, taken aback by Jaebeom's sudden mood switches. 

"Do it. I won't ask again." 

Jinyoung turned around immediately at his tone and placed his hands under his face, waiting in dread for what was sure to be more of that slow torture. 

Jinyoung yelped again as he felt the cold of another ice cube at the back of his neck before moving down his spine. Jinyoung shivered as Jaebeom's nails followed the ice in his mouth to rake down his back, causing even more shudders and goosebumps to erupt all over his body. 

When Jaebeom reached the soft swell of his bottom, Jinyoung let out a shaky breath. Maybe now Jaebeom had had enough, maybe now they could get to the part Jinyoung had been waiting for all along, maybe now Jaebeom would show mercy and get inside him. 

But ofcourse not. Jaebeom had a habit of turning all of Jinyoung's notions upside down ever since they'd met again. It was foolish of him to expect anything else. Jaebeom seemed to enjoy wielding his power too much now, so different from the Jaebeom of ten years ago. It didn't matter that he knew Jinyoung could get back at him in more ways than one outside the room. He seemed willing to risk Jinyoung's wrath almost with a relish. 

So instead of using his fingers to prepare him, like he should have been doing, he now had his face next to Jinyoung's, his entire body pinning him down, while his fingers massaged a freezingly cold ice cube against Jinyoung's rim, eliciting such ear-shattering pleas and moans that it was a wonder no one had heard them yet. 

"Hyung, please! Please! ahhh, Jaebeom!" Jinyoung wailed. 

"Shh, it's okay baby, it's okay. I'll make you feel good soon." Jaebeom whispered into his ear. 

"Captain, please..." 

The word _Captain_ seemed to do the trick as Jaebeom finally paused, taking the ice away and letting Jinyoung breathe. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, sounding extremely breathless himself. 

"I'm fine! I'm fine! Please just get inside me. Do it now, before I come!" Jinyoung sobbed. 

Jaebeom seemed to have reached his own limit, as he quickly turned Jinyoung on his back. 

"I'll get the lotion." 

"No!" Jinyoung almost screamed again. "There's no need for lube, just do it raw!" 

"Are you sure?" Jaebeom asked, pausing halfway through reaching for his desk drawer again. 

"I'm sure. Very sure." Jinyoung insisted desperately. 

"Okay, but tell me if it gets too much okay?" Said Jaebeom, putting his fingers inside Jinyoung's mouth to coat them with saliva. 

Jinyoung simply nodded, too incapacitated by the pain of his arousal and the relief of Jaebeom finally relenting. 

After a few moments of careful preparation, Jaebeom removed his glasses and set them aside. Jinyoung watched him with bated breath, the simple action taking his arousal to a whole different level as he readied himself for what was to come.

Jaebeom gripped his thighs and positioned himself in between his legs.

And then finally, finally, he was inside him, one hand gripping his wrists, the other on his hips as they set up a furious rhythm. Jinyoung didn't know how he managed to hold on for so long, as Jaebeom pounded into him and pumped his member simultaneously at an unforgiving pace. 

And when they finally came together, Jinyoung almost fainted with the endless convulsions of orgasm that recked his body for what seemed like hours instead of seconds. 

Jaebeom was right, Jinyoung would remember this night, every night until Jaebeom returned to him safe again. 

*

Jaebeom spooned Jinyoung from behind and held him tight. They had moved to his cabin, after cleaning up the office as much as they could, and then taken a shower together before finally falling on to his narrow bed. Jinyoung was back in Jaebeom's hoodie, foregoing his pants in favor of Jaebeom's warm legs wrapped around him snugly. Cleaning up had been quite a task, solely handled by Jaebeom, exhausted as Jinyoung was after their love making and compulsive as Jaebeom was about cleaning. 

"Hyung..." Jinyoung said in a tired whisper.

"Hmm?" came Jaebeom's equally tired reply. 

"It's not just revenge, or money or glory that made me find you..."

"Jinyoung..."

"All these years, I kept dad's journals hidden because I just knew it in my heart that you'd want to complete his work." Jinyoung continued. "Then I met Jackson and he mentioned how he knew you and that you'd already been working on the project for a couple of years, I panicked. I thought I was going to lose you too, just like dad." 

"Jinyoungie, it's not the same." said Jaebeom, giving him a gentle squeeze. "We're better prepared, better equipped this time." 

"I know, I know...it's just... I learned to survive all these years without you because I knew you were out there somewhere, safe. But now..."

Jinyoung turned and they both shifted so they were now facing each other, their lips almost touching, holding on to each other tight so neither of them would fall off the bed. 

"Now you're going down in the sub tomorrow and I can't bear it - it haunts me every night, the thought of losing you, of you not existing in this world. This is why I wanted to be in the sub with you...I feel like, if I let you go alone, you'll never come back."

"Jinyoungie..." Jaebeom whispered, holding Jinyoung tighter still. "I'll come back to you, I promise. No matter what happens down there. I'll come back." 

"I love you." Jinyoung whispered, tears running down his cheeks again. 

"I love you too." said Jaebeom, kissing them away. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunt begins

The next day, while the maintainence crew prepared to lower the submarine, Mark took Jinyoung aside. 

"Jinyoungie, there's something important I have to talk to you about once we get back." he said in a low voice, glancing at Jaebeom and Jackson who were busy going over some insurance documents with the rest of the crew. 

The only scientists allowed on the mission were Jaebeom and Mark, while the rest were senior technicians and staff especially trained to hunt deep sea creatures. They were trying to take every precaution they could, but the depths of the ocean were still a dangerous place for humans. The submarine could only go so deep, the rest of the journey was to be made by camera bots and hunter bots specially designed for this mission. They would lure the Gunray as near to the surface as possible and into a shark cage lowered into the water from the hunting boat waiting above the surface. 

They also had divers with tranquilizers on the ready. Once the Gunray was captured, both the submarine and the hunting boat would make their triumphant return back to the ship. They had around three months, during which they'd resurface frequently for maintenance, medical aid and crew rotation, with the backup crew following them in the hunting boat. 

The distillation systems in the submarine would convert ocean water into an indefinite supply of oxygen, so technically they wouldn't have to surface at all if they didn't have a food and fuel supply limit.

Jackson had left no stone unturned to make sure they would find the Gunray's nest. 

"Tell me now!" Jinyoung said urgently. 

"No. We don't have time. But wait for me okay?"

Jinyoung's curiosity was at its peak, but he realized it could wait. 

"Okay." he relented with a sigh. "But be safe and come back soon Hyung."

"I will Jinyoungie." Mark smiled, giving him a tight hug before walking over to Jackson who was looking at him expectantly. They both disappeared off to a side alcove that afforded some privacy and it wasn't hard to guess that they were saying their goodbyes. 

Jinyoung turned to look at Jaebeom, who was still busy talking to Shownu and some of the crew who would be staying behind. They had arranged for another, smaller boat to trail after the submarine that would act as the hunting boat, it would maintain contact with both the submarine and their ship. Once the submarine gave them the signal, they would know that the Silver Gunray had been sighted and then the hunt would begin in earnest. 

"How's my favorite Doctor?" Jaebeom asked, sauntering over to Jinyoung with a teasing smile. 

"As well as you left him, Captain." Jinyoung smiled back.

He raised a hand to caress Jaebeom's hair back and kept it there, playing with his locks. They both looked at each other, neither of them knowing what to say. There had been no time for goodbyes the last time Jaebeom had left and Jinyoung wasn't sure if he didn't prefer that. He didn't want to say goodbye, didn't want to let Jaebeom out of his sight. 

"Come with me." said Jaebeom, his face deadpan, taking his hand and pulling him towards a side door that led out to a maintainence staircase.

Quite a few people turned around to look at them curiously, especially as Jaebeom didn't let go of Jinyoung's hand the entire time. But he didn't seem to care and honestly, neither did Jinyoung. 

Once the door was safely shut behind them, Jaebeom backed him up against it in a deep kiss. Jinyoung reciprocated immediately, trying to put in as much feelings as he could so Jaebeom would remember it every moment he was away from him. Their hands roamed all over each other, as if trying to memorize every touch, every sensation.

After a few moments, the kiss turned more gentle and the urgency seeped out of their bodies. Jaebeom took his wrist and kissed the tube top bracelet. 

"How am I supposed to leave now?" he whined. 

"Like this." Jinyoung chuckled through his tears and pushed him away, but not before Jaebeom managed to grab his waist and pull him in for another long kiss. 

"I love you." said Jinyoung against his lips. 

"I love you too." said Jaebeom without hesitation. "You turn around and go straight to my cabin okay? Wait for me there and I'll be back before you know it."

Jinyoung nodded, unable to say a word or take his eyes away from Jaebeom's. Jaebeom looked at him for a moment longer before pushing away and leaving back through the door without another word. 

Jinyoung remained standing there for a whole minute before he could bring himself to move. He quickly opened the door and ran out after Jaebeom, stopping a good distance away to have a last look at his retreating back. 

Jaebeom must have known, because he turned around then to wave at Jinyoung for one last time. 

*

6 months later:

"We can't wait for Jaebeom anymore. The search boat will keep looking for him, but we have to take the gunray back to the Institute and begin working on it."

Jinyoung walked quickly away from a teary eyed Mark and Jackson. Once he reached a quiet corridor, he ran.

Through the corridors, up two flights of stairs and into Jaebeom's cabin, before flinging himself face down on his bed and letting out a loud scream into the pillow. 

An hour later, he lay curled up in a tight ball, his voice almost gone from all the screaming and crying, pillowcover soaked through with tears. 

"Hyung. Please come back to me." He prayed, clutching his bracelet tightly, as if it was a talisman that would bring Jaebeom back from the unforgiving depths of the ocean. 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me. Its not MCD, but he's just gone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grief

Jackson gripped Mark tighter from behind. They were both standing by the railing at the bow of the ship, strong gusts of wind whipping their clothes and hair back. But aside from that, the night was so clear, they could see the stars twinkling brighter than ever from above. 

"How come it's all so calm Jackson? How come there's no sign of the storm? It's like we made it all up, like it was just a nightmare that all of us woke up from...All of us, except Jaebeom..." Mark sobbed, his whole body trembling with cold and grief combined as he clutched at Jackson's arms. 

Jackson kissed his neck, unable to come up with the words that could act as the soothing balm that Mark's heart so desperately needed, to help him move on, to help him erase the wounds left by survivor's guilt. 

"One moment, we were all standing against the edge of the hunter boat, trying to help the sub's crew board the ship and the next, he was gone. We didn't even notice until the storm subsided. We lost several rescue boats but everyone got back safe Jack, everyone but Jaebeom! How is that possible? And to think it wouldn't have happened if we didn't come up to charge the sub's batteries..."

Jackson listened quietly, letting Mark cry it out. He'd heard the sequence of events too many times, yet he was ready to listen everyday if it meant Mark could talk himself into healing. Despite the fresh stabs on his own heart everytime. 

"You should have seen his face when they said we'd caught the gunray Jack. I've never seen bliss like that, he almost went crazy with happiness. And Jinyoung...what are we gonna do with Jinyoung? He doesn't say it but I see it in his eyes everytime he looks at me, the same question everytime - if I'm alive then why is Jaebeom gone? What am I supposed to tell him? When I ask the same question to myself everyday..."

"Yien..." Jackson said, his voice hoarse from lack of use. But Mark was moving into dangerous territory and he had to stop him before he ended up blaming himself again. "Baby, Jinyoung is thinking no such thing. Give him some time."

Jackson turned Mark around and kissed him firmly. 

"We'll take care of him, together, you and I. For us and for Jaebeom."

*

A few days later, Jackson found a tiny waterproof pouch as he helped Mark clear out Jaebeom's office. They had decided to give all his personal belongings to Jinyoung as Jaebeom's parents lived in a tiny, remote village, far away from the city where Jaebeom had lived in an apartment near the university. His lab was located on the university campus itself and he had spent his free time giving lectures on Marine Microbiology in exchange. 

Needless to say, Jaebeom's parents had been devastated on being informed about their only son's disappearance. Jinyoung insisted he wanted to see them in person once they got back on land and hand over Jaebeom's belongings to them personally. Jackson offered to accompany him, while Mark said he'd help preserve Jaebeom's research and continue their work on the Gunray with Youngjae as his replacement. 

"What is it Jinyoungie?" Mark asked Jinyoung, once he and Jackson had settled down on Jaebeom's bed after much hesitation and awkwardness. 

"It's a flash drive." said Jinyoung evenly, leaning against his small dresser. "Something my dad left for...for him along with the venom and his journals...I didn't want to give it to him until he agreed to let me on the sub too. But I changed my mind after we fought that night..."

"Did you guys see what's in it?" Jackson asked hesitantly, a feeling of dread building in his stomach. He had an inkling about what was on that flash drive, but outwardly, he kept his calm. 

"No." said Jinyoung softly, his eyes far away, glistening with a memory neither Mark nor Jackson could follow him in. 

"Do you want to see?" he asked suddenly, pinning Mark and Jackson with a sharp gaze, as if daring them to say no or try to treat him like a weakling. 

He'd resisted any and every attempt at consolation from either of them, spending most of his time down in the labs with either Bambam, Yugyeom or Youngjae who seemed to have found a different way to manage their own grief at losing their leader- humorous banter and normalcy. 

"Go ahead." said Jackson. 

Mark nodded in encouragement too and Jinyoung plugged the flash drive into his laptop. He clicked on a file and a video popped up. 

His heart stopped for a moment when he saw Dr. Woochan smiling at him through the screen, as kind, as gentle and as young as he remembered him, but so thin and exhausted at the same time. 

"I don't know how to make long conversations Jaebeommah, but you know me better than anyone, so I don't think I need to." he said with a chuckle. "I'm on my ship right now. It's more like a skeleton of a ship, what with our limited funds, but we're making do. I don't know if I'll ever make it back though. I'm glad Jinyoung's with his real father and I hope with all my heart that he's happier than he ever was with me... Look out for him Jaebeommah, there's no one I could trust Jinyoung with more than you...you've always been like family to me, my closest friend. Even when you felt like you couldn't work with me any longer, I was happy to see you take charge of your life like that, not compromising on anything, like a true leader. And seeing you with Jinyoung...I just hope you two remain close even after I'm gone, so he can learn from you and grow stronger. The people that are after me, if they ever find out about our connection...he could be in danger too. So I'm glad he left when he did, but keep an eye on him, just in case.. ."

Jinyoung couldn't believe his ears. He had expected it to be a message related to their mission, perhaps some instructions on how to find the lost city. Anything but this - a father pleading with a friend to take care of his son when he was gone. A son who'd abandoned him without a second thought. Jinyoung touched Dr. Woochan's face through the screen, but there was no warmth, no softness, just a hard, pixelated image, a shadow of the man he knew. 

That was all he had left of them, this shadow of Dr. Woochan speaking Jaebeom's name, proof that they'd both lived. Unconsciously, Jinyoung's fingers found the tube top bracelet on his wrist and pressed it against his skin. It was real, the pain. Jaebeom was real, he had touched Jinyoung, been inside him. He could feel him still. Jaebeom had said he would come back no matter what, he had said he would watch over Jinyoung from wherever he was. Jinyoung had to believe that Jaebeom never lied. 

The only reason why he hadn't followed Jaebeom into the ocean yet. 

"I think the Lost City is nearer than ever. I know I'm a scientist but there's this gut feeling...I wake up in sweat every night dreaming that I've finally found it, that it's just within reach...yet I can't see it clearly, the entrance to the city, and I don't think I ever will in this life time...so, listen very carefully to what I'm about to tell you. This is about Wang industries..." Dr. Woochan's image continued. 

An hour later, Mark and Jinyoung both turned towards Jackson. 

"Yeah, I think it's about time we talked." he said with a heavy sigh. 

*


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Search

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, due to personal reasons I've been unable to edit or update regularly, but I'm about to finish this soon. Thank you for your kind words and patience. I'll go through your comments as soon as I'm done uploading the last chapter by today or tomorrow. 💚

"What do you mean? What exactly does it all mean?!" Jinyoung asked, pacing around Jaebeom's cabin like a caged animal, beside himself with fury. 

"You know my family owns one of the biggest shipping companies around right? Dr. Woochan accidentally came across some illegal activities they're involved in a remote part of the ocean. Something to do with smuggling and trafficking." Jackson continued, trying to keep his calm. "And he just wouldn't back out. After that he disappeared, along with his crew, and my dad moved his entire operation. My family have political connections everywhere, they're ruthless, even my brother. This is why I stay away from them as much as possible." 

"Jackson..." Mark began hesitantly. 

"Please Yien, you have to understand, I had only circumstantial evidence from being around them occasionally and no solid proof that I can present in a court of law. I've been trying to gather evidence for years, but it's hard, people fear them and so they fear me! But I had nothing to do with it, believe me! I didn't even find out until much later!" 

"Did you know? When you met me?" Jinyoung asked, sparks flying from his eyes. 

"Yes." Jackson admitted, without hesitation. "I had my company organize the conference to present some rookie awards for scientific achievement at your University. I felt so guilty, I wanted to make sure you were okay. That you wouldn't lack for anything because your dad was gone." 

"And sleeping with him?" Mark whispered quietly, making both Jinyoung and Jackson turn to him nervously. 

"That was pure attraction, you know that!" said Jackson immediately. "We're both adults! And he liked me too, he was willing. I didn't coerce him into anything."

"Did you pay off his college tuition too?" 

"Some of it." said Jackson while Jinyoung flushed red. 

"So he basically sold himself to you to pay off his loans. Is that not coercion?" Mark asked without emotion. 

"It's not like that Mark, it's never been like that! I would have told you!" said Jackson, while Jinyoung backed away against a wall heavily, unable to speak a word. 

"Well even if you didn't do it intentionally, you both sure did use each other." 

"What do you mean?" Jinyoung asked weakly. 

Mark turned to Jackson as he answered. 

"Now that we've watched the video, we know that Jaebeom was not only close to Dr. Woochan but also to Jinyoung. So even if, initially he went out with you just for the attention you gave him, he's been sleeping with you to try and get to Jaebeom." Mark said, as calm as can be. "It was always Jaebeom. It's always been Jaebeom. I bet you let slip on your first date itself that you were friends with another scientist, and then you both got real chummy once he found out who it was."

Jackson and Jinyoung exchanged a wordless gaze and then looked at Mark, waiting for the bomb to drop, neither of them sure where he was going with this. 

"So basically, what I'm saying is..." Mark continued with a heavy sigh, looking up at them both finally. "You've both used each other for mutual benefit, but somewhere along the line you moved past it and formed a genuine connection. It's obvious that you both truly care for each other, so instead of getting mad-" Here Mark turned his piercing gaze at Jinyoung. "We should try and figure out how we're going to bring justice for Dr. Woochan."

Jackson took Mark's hand in his own while Jinyoung sighed heavily. 

"I guess you're right Hyung." he said. "Is this what you were talking about before getting in the sub?" 

"I felt guilty too, hiding it from you." said Mark, holding out a hand that Jinyoung took gratefully. "But I needed to think things through and make sure none of us lost sight of what's truly important. I wanted to make sure Jackson was ready to do everything it takes to expose his dad and brother."

Jackson pressed his lips to Mark's hand reassuringly. 

"Ofcourse I am. As long as you still love me, I'll do anything." he said earnestly. 

"Ofcourse I still love you." said Mark. "But I need to trust you too."

"And if I prove myself to you, will you marry me?" 

Jinyoung looked at Mark, holding his breath just like Jackson,waiting for his answer. 

"Yes. I will."

*

They found a lot of damming evidence against Jackson's family on Dr. Woochan's flashdrive, including co-ordinates and secretly shot footage that were proof of Wang industries' illegal operations on that part of the ocean.

Jackson had to leave for China for a couple of years to get his father and brother investigated by the relevant authorities. They were too powerfully connected, but they did end up getting convicted on some of the charges including Dr. Woochan's disappearance. 

Jackson's father ended up taking voluntary retirement while his eldest son spent quite a few years in jail. Jackson was handed over the reigns of the company. He donated a lot of his shares to a research foundation he began in South Korea with Mark under Jaebeom's name. Jinyoung ended up working there and presented his contribution in Jaebeom's research to earn his doctorate. 

Five years later, Mark, Youngjae, Bambam, Yugyeom, Jaebeom and Dr. Woochan (post humously) were in the running for a Nobel prize for their work on the gunray venom and its contribution in the field of science and modern medicine. 

But Jinyoung was far away from it all. He still believed that Jaebeom was out there somewhere, but he needed a solid anchor, a place that would keep reminding him not to lose hope. His bracelet could only go so far. So he decided to move in with Jaebeom's ageing parents back in his village, who welcomed him like a son.

Jinyoung also decided to tell them about his relationship with Jaebeom. After some initial coldness, they seemed to recognize the love in his eyes for Jaebeom, a love that they shared too and so they took him in as their own. 

He started teaching in a local school in their village, no longer finding his calling in research when the ones who'd inspired him on that path were no longer around to see him flourish. 

It was where Jackson and Mark found him one day, at the closing bell, and re-ignited the flame of hope that had been dying by the day inside his heart, every year that Jaebeom failed to come back. He'd spent too many nights in Jaebeom's old childhood bedroom, curled up in his hoodie until it had lost his scent and was of no use to Jinyoung anymore. Jinyoung needed something, anything to help him cling on to the surface before he drowned in his grief, beyond anyone's reach. 

And just like an answer to his prayers came Mark and Jackson. They informed Jinyoung that one of the search crews Jackson had been sending out on the regular had found some debris of one of their rescue boats near an uncharted island, but they couldn't get nearer because of some unknown snake-like creatures that guarded it from all sides. 

"Ring a bell?" Jackson asked, barely able to keep his seat, trying to contain his excitement. 

Mark took it upon himself to convince Jaebeom's parents to let Jinyoung go. They were very reluctant, especially since they'd already lost one son to the ocean. But in the end, the pain and desperation in Jinyoung's eyes and a promise to come back alive no matter what managed to convince them. 

Jinyoung, Mark and Jackson traveled to the island on a ship funded by the Lim Research Foundation, but once they got there, it was very obvious that the tiny island was deserted with absolutely no signs of human life. 

However, Jinyoung was adamant, there was no way he would leave without answers. Working on some inctinct, he suggested the idea of taking the submarine. 

"I just know he's here somewhere...I can feel him. All those Gunrays guarding an empty island, it has to mean something." said Jinyoung sitting on the bed in his cabin where he'd been forced to go in order to calm down, clutching at his heart while Mark and Jackson looked at him in sympathy. 

"Jinyoungie...we've tried everyth-" Jackson began. 

"No! No we haven't! I'm telling you we need to take a sub down into the water." 

"Jinyoungie..." said Mark, not really sure of what he wanted to say. 

"Please Mark Hyung." said Jinyoung, crouching down at Mark's knee and grasping his hands in his own desperate ones. "He promised me he'd come back. He promised. Please, I have to know, I need to know..."

Mark pulled Jinyoung into a hug with an involuntary sob of his own and looked at Jackson imploringly.

"We have to know." he whispered, holding Jinyoung tighter. 

"We need to know..."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope and fear

Jinyoung could feel his anxiety coming on. As long as they had other options left, he'd been too distracted, but now that they were on their final try with the small submarine, funded generously by the Lim Foundation, his heart was catching up to him and so was his fear. 

The only thing that had kept him sane for so long was his faith in Jaebeom's love, in Jaebeom's promise that he'd come back. Jaebeom had never lied to him, not even ten years ago when he'd told Jinyoung he didn't feel the same way. Jinyoung had survived for ten years without Jaebeom, all the while nursing a broken heart, he could do it again, especially now when he knew Jaebeom loved him too. 

The first time Jaebeom had left him, he'd had no hope, nothing to hold on to - yet he had survived, like he'd survived years of abuse and his mother's eventual death, like he'd survived finding out about his real father and how unwanted he was, like he'd survived the disappearance of Dr. Woochan, the one man who had actually loved him. 

The lack of hope had turned out to be his strength. 

But he had hope this time, which was both a blessing and curse, because unlike last time, now he knew that Jaebeom wanted to come back to him. He just wasn't able to, something had come in the way of him keeping his promise. A fact that he kept reminding himself everytime his heart was in the danger of losing hope, clutching at his bracelet and the hoodie he'd brought along for Jaebeom desperately. 

So alongwith hope, there was fear too. This was their final try. If they didn't find Jaebeom now - dead or alive, Jinyoung wasn't sure he'd survive this time. 

Suddenly there was a quiet hush all around the sub as the three operators ran towards the viewing monitor alongwith Mark, Jackson and Yugyeom, who had insisted on being appointed as their on-board medical officer. 

"Jinyoungie, get over here, look at this!" came Jackson's hushed whisper. 

His heart thumping against his ribs almost painfully, Jinyoung quickly made his way over to find them all staring down at an incredible sight. 

A school, no, hoard of giant Silver Gunrays swimming around the underside of the island, glistening in the blue water. What was even more strange was that the island seemed to be connected by a thick, circular, vertical shaft of stone, wide enough for a ship to go through, all the way down to the top of an underwater mountain. 

"Do you think that shaft is hollow? Maybe it's a passage down into the mountain from the island above?" Jinyoung wondered. 

"We need to bring in people from the Geology department and a bigger sub to investigate this." said Mark in a hushed voice. "The seven of us can't do this on on our own. This sub is too small to withstand a gunray attack."

While they stood there entranced at the sight, suddenly, there was a pause - the gunrays stopped moving, as if on signal. 

"What the hell's happening..." one of the operators whispered, sounding scared. 

"Shh." said Yugyeom. 

Suddenly, without warning, the gunrays turned directly towards the submarine as a unit and begin swimming at an incredible speed. 

They had no time, no warning before the gunrays were upon them. Jinyoung closed his eyes. This was it, this was the end. 

And then he would see Jaebeom again... 

But the attack never came. 

Jinyoung's eyes flew open when he felt a sharp tug at his sleeve from Mark. 

The submarine was moving again, towards the mountain this time, escorted by the gunrays, looking for all the world like sentinels as they surrounded it from all three sides, making sure it had only one direction to move in. 

"They want us to go into the mountain." Jackson whispered excitedly, his eyes glistening with the prospect of adventure and absolutely no trace of fear. 

As they came closer to the mountain, suddenly, a hatch opened right in the middle of the shaft. The operators looked at Jackson, who simply shrugged, looking happier than ever. They had no choice but to go in because that's exactly where the gunrays seemed to be leading them to. 

They sunk deeper into the shaft, positive that the hatch had been closed again behind them. There was no way to go but down, as indicated by some of the sentinel gunrays that had followed them in and remained swimming in circles above, barring their way towards the top. 

Deeper and deeper they went for what felt like an entire day. Finally, they noticed a large platform of rock below that seemed to be blocking their way down further. Suddenly the water around them began draining and the submarine moved towards the rock at an alarming speed. 

The operators immediately began draining the water from the submarine's reservoirs so they could slow down the impact, while the rest of the occupants braced themselves. 

But again, nothing. 

The water simply stopped draining at a level enough for the submarine to float half submerged. They all let out a breath none of them had realized they were holding, and looked at each other, waiting for someone to come up with their next move. 

After some discussion, they used their scope to try and see what was around them, which was made difficult as it was all pitch black, the only light being from the submarine itself. 

"What the hell is that?" Yugyeom asked in a shaking voice. 

Another hatch had opened in the wall of solid rock surrounding them and a large object entered through it, gliding above the water in their direction. From the lights twinkling above the object, it was obvious that it was a vessel of some kind, not big enough to be a ship but as big as their hunter boat from their last mission. 

As it came within range, they saw... 

Shapes. 

Human shapes. 

Hidden in shadows behind the lights but clearly looking down on them from above the boat, signaling for them to come out. 

"Mark, I think we should go. They look friendly enough." Jackson said, the excitement returning on his face. 

"Are you kidding me?" Mark whispered back. "We don't know who, let alone _what_ , they are. I mean they look like people, but they're living under the Ocean and somehow, they have the ability to communicate with _and_ control gunrays. For fuck's sake...!" 

"Hyung..." Jinyoung whispered. "If we don't know whether they're friendly or not, do we really have a choice?" 

They all looked at Jinyoung, but no one could come up with a rebuttal. He was right. They had no choice but to comply. 

"Maybe some of us should stay behind? You know, as backup." said the operator that had been shushed by Yugyeom earlier. He looked downright terrified now. 

"That's a good idea actually." said Jinyoung. "We don't know why they allowed us in the first place. The less threatening we are, the better."

He looked around and they all nodded in agreement. 

"I brought you all down here." Jinyoung continued. "I'm the one who should go. If I can manage to convince them to close the shaft and let the water in once more, you guys can make your way up, right to the top. I bet there's an opening through the island above. These people must go up for sunlight. Then you can signal the ship to come get you. Ofcourse there's still the gunrays, but I don't think they'll attack unless they're told to, or maybe they will. I don't know, but this is our best bet, we can-"

"Jinyoungie." Mark interrupted suddenly. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" 

To say Jinyoung was taken aback would be an understatement. Mark, Jackson and Yugyeom were looking practically furious as they glared at him while the three operators had their mouths open in amazement. 

"What? Do you have another plan?" Jinyoung asked defensively. 

"No. But what makes you think we're going to just let you go out there alone and run away?" Yugyeom spoke up. 

"How could you even think that?!" Mark almost yelled. 

"Years of friendship and this is what you think of us?" said Jackson quietly in the ringing silence that followed. 

Jinyoung was frustrated now. 

"Why don't you guys understand? I can't lose anymore people! I've lost too much!" he cried through clenched teeth. 

"Jinyoung..." said Mark, taking a deep breath and making his voice softer. "How do you think we would feel, abandoning you like that? Do you think we'd be able to live with ourselves? And you're going to lose us eitherway. Doesn't it make sense to stick together?" 

Jinyoung opened his mouth to argue but the Chief operator cut in. 

"I can't let my men risk their lives for you and we can't leave the sub unmanned. But I can join you if you'd like, I'm good with a gun." he said reasonably. 

"No. It has to be us three. Just us three." said Jackson firmly. "I don't think we can fight them. And I don't want you risking your life for us either. And Yugyeom's too young..."

"I'll be 30 next summer _and_ I'm a medical doctor, what are you talking about? You need me. And besides, I wanna go back home too, Bambam will kill me if I die down here or come back without any of you."

"All this arguing will get us nowhere." said Mark, going back to his calm persona. "Yugi's right Jack, we need him. God knows what Jaebeom's been through if he's out there with these people."

"But-" Jinyoung began. 

"Enough. Jinyoung." said Jackson sternly. And just like a trained puppy, Jinyoung was silenced. 

So they opened the submarine hatch and the four of them climbed out on the top carefully, one by one. All of them had life jackets and diving gear on, just in case. 

"We'll wait for you, for as long as we can." said the chief operator, smiling at them kindly. "I hope we can all go back home safe."

The hatch closed behind them and a light from the boat suddenly pointed directly at them. 

"Swim to the boat, there's a ladder." came a voice from the shadows above.

A voice none of them recognized, except Jinyoung. 

Dr. Woochan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Markson have heard Dr. Woochan in the video but it was just one time, not enough to retain the memory of his voice.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> Scientific liberties were taken for the sake of narration. 💚

There was silence on board, as the boat made its way back through the entrance hatch and it closed behind them with a deafening grind, leading them into a long winding tunnel that was so huge they could hardly make out the walls or ceiling. 

Jinyoung stared at Dr. Woochan. Fifteen years had passed since he'd last seen him, and yet, Dr. Woochan seemed to have hardly aged at all. He looked closer to thirty than he'd done even before his disappearance. Young and full of life, even his demeanor had changed - from the serious, socially awkward, laboratory scientist to a hearty, talkative...explorer.

"You've grown up so well Jinyoungie." he said brightly in halting Korean, not having used it for years. "I wish I'd seen you grow up. Guess your father did good by you."

"He did." Jinyoung said, still looking at him in wonder. "He did good by kicking me out as soon as I told him who I was."

"What do you mean?" said Dr. Woochan, a frown marring his happy features. "Where have you been all this time? Did you go back to our house? Jinyoungie please tell me you went back home, I left everything to you, just in case...I had hoped your father would be a better man but I couldn't take the risk..."

Jinyoung let him ramble on, a watery smile building up on his face at the love and concern for him still intact in Dr. Woochan's heart. Without a word, he threw his arms around him in a tight hug. 

"I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry for running away!" he sobbed, while Dr. Woochan patted his back after only a moment of hesitation. "I've missed you so much, I thought you were gone... and now Jaebeom's gone too and I can't do this anymore..." 

"But Jaebeom's not gone child."

"What?" Yugyeom exclaimed before he could stop himself. 

The others had been lounging around the captain's cabin, trying to make themselves scarce and let Jinyoung have his moment of reunion with his father. Now they all looked at Dr. Woochan in disbelief. They'd come on the mission to get answers, but none of them except Jinyoung had actually believed that Jaebeom could be found after five years. 

Jinyoung simply looked scared. As if fearing that Dr. Woochan would burst into laughter and declare it all a joke. 

"He's alive, son. But by the time he was found on the island's shore, he'd been oxygen deprived for far too long, his brain cells have been taking their time to heal. There's this medicine the locals make using Gunray venom that has incredible regenerating properties. I didn't believe it at first. I've studied the Gunray for years using the lab tools they could smuggle down here for me from overland, ever since I got here, and yet, I still haven't discovered even half of its uses. It's truly God's gift. So I had no choice but to trust them, and it seems to have worked. Jaebeom's been camatose for five years as his body healed, but he opened his eyes and he's been showing some signs of speech recently. He still can't move without help, but he's healing faster than I ever imagined for someone in his state."

Dr. Woochan smiled down at Jinyoung, caressing his chin fondly. 

"The only word he keeps repeating is your name. I had hoped you two would stay close after I'm gone, and seeing that you came all the way down here to look for him...I can tell how much you love each other. Perhaps, if he hears your voice again, it would help speed up his recovery. What do you say?"

"Please take me to him." Jinyoung said, his face crumpling as he hid his face in his father's embrace again. 

*

The rest of the journey was spent exchanging information and trading stories. Dr. Woochan introduced them to the leader of the "tribe" as he called the underwater inhabitants, in a strange language that none of them understood.

Dr. Woochan had been living among them for fifteen years, learning their language and studying their way of life. The tribe used solar energy from panels on the island to generate power and all their waste was recycled immediately, leaving nothing to be dumped in the ocean and contaminate the water. They had remote sensors and cameras that kept track of any movement near the island, which was rare since not many ships passed by that part of the ocean. It was a strange mix of the modern world as well as the primitive. 

Dr. Woochan remembered being pushed off the boat and ending up at the island with no memory of how he got there alive. He had one of his journals and a pen though, so he dried them out and began recording, surviving on herbs and a small rain-filled pond full of drinkable water, until he was caught by a couple of members of the tribe who had come up to the surface to hunt. Somehow, he managed to communicate to them his story and they allowed him in, on the condition that he could never go back to his life in the normal world and risk exposing their secret. 

"But how come they're living down here? And how did they build all this?" Mark asked, the scientist in him alive. 

Dr. Woochan told them that the tribe's history went back to the pre-modern age. Their numbers had always been low, but they had managed to survive below the island and keep the outside world away for centuries. None of them knew where they came from or if they'd ever lived above water. All they knew was their ancestors had lived in the mountain for centuries, performing rituals that involved going up on the island at regular intervals to absorb sunlight. 

"Fifteen years is nowhere near enough to study the history of these incredible people." said Dr. Woochan. 

"But how do they swim so far without oxygen? The shaft is so long. How do they breathe?" Mark asked. 

"There's a bulbous plant that grows down there." said Dr. Woochan excitedly. "I'll show you. It acts like an oxygen tank, converting ocean water to oxygen through some internal mechanism. It takes time to fill its sack so they keep a whole reserve ready for use, especially around the time of the sun festival. There's a membrane that latches on to your face and makes sure to filter out your carbon dioxide. Think of it as a gas mask. It doesn't allow water in. There are thousands of species of plants down there that connect through the mountain walls to the surface above, absorbing sunlight and energy to grow roots down in the village that are edible and nutritious enough to sustain an entire army of humans for years and years. The tribe hunters travel to the island to hunt down birds too."

"But how do they travel? They can't swim all that distance surely. It took us hours to get down here in a submarine." Yugyeom asked curiously. 

"They've domesticated gunrays, like horses. As you must have noticed by now, they're very intelligent creatures and able to communicate with humans."

"But all those modern amenities you talked about before? The cameras, the sensors, the solar panels, this shaft drainage system, was that all you?" Jackson asked, still looking like an excited child on his way to Disneyland. 

"In a way."

"What do you mean." Jackson asked, all of them sitting around Dr. Woochan like children listening to a fairytale. 

It was incredible enough to be a fairytale, whatever Dr. Woochan was telling them. 

"Every few decades, one tribe member, who had the same passion for exploring the world above as some of us do, would leave the village, never to return. There are quite a few of them living amongst us on land, some living normal lives, some in powerful positions, without anyone knowing their secret. They've been doing it for so long that they have a covert organization that helps rehabilitate those who've left the tribe looking for a life on land. But they have immense loyalty to their kin down here, so they keep the secret and keep in touch. When I found out, it took me years to convince the tribe to let them send atleast some modern technology to make life here more comfortable. It wasn't easy, since they consider it desecration of the holy land they've protected for thousands of years, maybe more. They don't want us coming down here and destroying their world. Their Eden."

"Eden..." Jinyoung whispered to himself. 

He'd heard Jaebeom let that word slip whenever he got too excited talking about the Lost City. And Jaebeom had actually done it, he'd found his Eden. But he was too far gone to realize it yet, Jinyoung thought bitterly. 

Hours later, they finally docked at the edge of a long pier that disappeared into a thick foliage of strange plants, hanging like curtains at the entrance of a gigantic cave. 

"We're here." said Dr. Woochan and they all disembarked from the boat, almost tripping with excitement. 

Jinyoung could hardly contain himself. He clutched onto his hoodie and his bracelet, his heart chanting the same words again and again with every beat. 

Jaebeom is here. Jaebeom is here. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lost and Found

Jinyoung followed Dr. Woochan eagerly through the plant curtain and into another, smaller tunnel. The other three were not allowed to go beyond the entrance if they wanted to go back home. But Dr. Woochan had made some sort of arrangement with the tribe leader to allow Jinyoung an exception. Jinyoung was curious what Dr. Woochan had said to convince him but before he could ask, they were already in the tunnel, little electric bulbs lighting the way at regular intervals. 

Strange plants growing along the path and creepers crawling their way up the stone walls shone through the dark with a bright greenish glow. Jinyoung had never seen lumiscent plants this bright. Combined with the tiny electric bulbs, the tunnel seemed less creepy than it would have. 

"Amazing isn't it?" Dr. Woochan asked, his gaze on Jinyoung's amazed expression. "The energy metabolism of these plants have evolved to give out light. They're really strong too, they connect through a network of vines all the way up to the island surface, to absorb energy and nutrients. I still haven't studied them enough. The electric bulbs you see along the walls are all powered by the solar panels on the island, they charge the generators above and then we bring them down in waterproof containers to work the bulbs, cameras and sensors. I thought these people could use with some more light. You know how poor my eyes are in the dark." he winked and Jinyoung grinned, reminded of old memories. 

Jinyoung was sure the other three left behind would've had the same look of amazement as him. The few members of the tribe who had steered the boat had stayed back with them, he wondered what they were doing. Mark would probably be trying to communicate with them while Jackson and Yugyeom looked on with wide eyes.

Jinyoung smiled to himself, his friends had followed him into the unknown, all on a whim, his whim. He didn't think he'd ever find a family amongst strangers after his own blood had disappointed him. First Dr. Woochan, then Jaebeom, then their research team on the ship. Even Bambam and Youngjae had kept in touch. 

Finally, they reached the end of the tunnel and walked through another set of leafy curtains and into Eden. 

There was no other word to describe it in Jinyoung's mind. All those stories of fairy kingdoms, of ethereally lit up vegetation, of little cottages made completely out of green vines as if they'd simply sprung out of the ground below, of tiny bridges built across little streams of tinkling water, of little children running around wearing cloth of hand woven material, they were all coming to life right before his eyes. 

People stopped mid chores, children stopped mid play. They stared at the newly arrivals like they were creatures from an entirely different planet. They all looked normal enough, except that their skin was very pale with a greenish hue. Jinyoung also noticed that they all had webbed feet and fingers, an anamoly that was to be found among the human population overland too, but rare, very rare. It was all starting to make sense now. 

Their faces weren't too friendly either. Jinyoung could swear he heard a few angry hisses. He looked up, trying to absorb as much as he could before they had to leave. And also to avoid all the hostile stares directed at him. 

He didn't know why, as a scientist, he'd been expecting the roof to be an actual sky so many feet under the ocean, but his mind was surely playing tricks on him. Instead of the stone roof that should have been there, the "sky" was made up of a strange gas, like rain clouds, bathing everything around it in a greenish haze. It seemed to be confined to the roof though, not low enough to touch the village. 

"It is exactly what you think it is." Dr. Woochan whispered in a low voice, while the leader of the tribe gathered his people for an impromptu community meeting. "It's like a rain cloud, but for Oxygen, and a few other minor gases I haven't been able to study yet. The plants down here have a distillation unit similar to the submarine where they convert ocean water into oxygen. It's a sacred place so they haven't allowed me to enter the main unit where the conversion takes place but I have enough research experience to make some educated guesses."

"Dad...if people above came to know about this..." 

"They'd destroy it Jinyoungie. They would start a race as to who would get here first. And in their war, the collateral damage would be all these innocent people." said Dr. Woochan firmly. "I regret seeking it out myself. Giving up my life overland was small compensation for the dangers I possibly would have exposed them to in my research. They could have decided to kill me too, easily, just like Wang. But they aren't like those savages that live in the world we grew up in."

Just then, they were interrupted by the tribe leader who signaled Dr. Woochan over. He patted Jinyoung's cheek and walked over to the side where they proceeded to have quite an animated discussion in their strange language. 

Finally, Dr. Woochan sighed and walked back over to him. 

"They'll allow you to see Jaebeom but only you can enter the village. I have to stay here." he said, looking at Mark, Jackson and Yugyeom who had all been busy looking around, the wonder in their eyes still intact. 

"Why only me? Why not you too?" 

"It's a test."

"What kind of test?" 

"Just go Jinyoungie, I don't know what test it is but don't worry about it, they won't hurt you. They know you're my son."

"Okay...okay. Let's go." said Jinyoung, taking a deep, calming breath. 

Jinyoung waved goodbye to Dr. Woochan and followed the tribe leader into the heart of the village.

They walked across streets and alleyways for miles, curious faces poking out of windows to look at Jinyoung but disappearing the moment he looked back. There were strange flowers and fruits on bushes growing around the little cottages with tiny insects glowing in multi-colored hues buzzing around them. Finally, as Jinyoung was about to collapse with exhaustion, they stopped infront of a little rickety gate leading up to a house smaller than the others he'd seen. 

"In." said the tribe leader, pointing towards the plain wooden door. "Jaebeom."

Jinyoung bowed slightly indicating his understanding and moved towards the door, pausing for a moment with his hand on the wooden latch, his heart almost bursting out of his ribcage in anticipation. Finally, after hesitating for a whole minute trying to regulate his breathing while he felt the tribe leader's sharp eyes on his back, he turned the door handle and walked in. 

The room was empty, no signs of life except a rumpled cot in the corner. The room was lit up with the bright green, lamp-like creepers and there were bowls of broth placed on a table by the cot, but that was all. 

Jinyoung could feel the panic building up again, was this all some sort of cruel joke, a trick to get him away from his father and kill him? Where was Jaebeom? 

As Jinyoung's eyes swept around the room once more to confirm that it was indeed empty and Jaebeom wasn't just going to spring out from under the cot, he walked back out of the door to find the tribe leader still standing at the gate but accompanied by others now, watching him with his powerful arms crossed as if waiting to see what he would do next. 

Jinyoung was about to march up to him and demand answers when he felt a slight breeze ruffle through his clothes. 

And a familiar scent. 

There was magic in the air, he could feel it tingling in his fingers and toes, making the hair on his nape stand up on end. He turned around on his feet and followed the scent, all the way around to the back of the little, one room house. 

And there was Jaebeom, sitting on a wooden recliner in a tiny backyard, a gentle breeze blowing through hair long enough to fall to his shoulders, his sharp gaze on a tiny stream that ran just outside the back fence, as if lost in memories. Jinyoung walked up to him slowly, his eyes drinking in every familiar feature, from the slant of his nose, to the twin moles above an eyelid, to the slope of his wide shoulders that had wrapped around him so tightly the last time they'd said goodbye. 

"I found you, hyung." Jinyoung whispered. 

Jaebeom turned around to look at him then. 

And kept looking. 

"Who are you?" 

In that moment, Jinyoung was sure he ceased to exist. He couldn't feel his body, he couldn't feel his heart, he couldn't even feel the emptiness. For emptiness required a vessel too. But his body didn't exist. He didn't exist. 

Except his name. 

Dr. Woochan had said his name was the only thing Jaebeom remembered. 

He had failed to mention that it was the only thing Jaebeom remembered about him.

While Jinyoung felt his entire being evaporate in wisps of smoke, remnants of his love, of his undying faith in Jaebeom's love, Jaebeom continued to stare.

Not a trace of recognition in his eyes. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And found again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ:
> 
> love making ahead, if you want to skip, then move directly to the end notes for spoiler.

Jaebeom was alive, that was all that mattered. 

Jinyoung grasped desperately at the bits and pieces of his being swirling around and forced them back together. Enough to bring back the feeling in his legs, enough to restart his heart. 

He walked slowly towards Jaebeom's curious glance and sank to his knees. He pulled off Jaebeom's hoodie slowly without any sudden movements and put it on Jaebeom. Jaebeom just let him do it, his eyes filled with confusion.

He grasped Jaebeom's face in his hands reassuringly. 

"Captain." he whispered again, placing a tender kiss on his lips. 

And there it was, a tiny spark in Jaebeom's eyes, as he moved his own hands up to cover Jinyoung's. 

"Doctor?" Jaebeom asked in a whisper, as if unsure of the right answer. 

Jinyoung smiled, his eyes slowly coming back into existence to spill the heartbreak out of them, making room for love once more. 

"It's me."

Jinyoung couldn't remember who made the first move but the next moment he was bent forwards, his hands braced against Jaebeom's shoulders and they were kissing, desperate, sloppy, more teeth and tongue than necessary, they kissed as if trying to swallow each other, to become a single entity so they wouldn't ever be ripped apart again. 

Jaebeom stumbled to his feet, as they both pulled back to gasp for air, holding on to Jinyoung's arms tightly, his eyes still not showing any signs of recognition despite the name he remembered. 

"Hyung, stay, you're still weak..." Jinyoung panted, pushing Jaebeom back gently on the recliner. 

But Jaebeom grabbed his collar and pulled him down with him. Jinyoung straddled him carefully, placing his arms around his neck. Jaebeom looked up at him, the spark in his eyes still merely a spark, not the flame of recognition yet. But they would get there, Jinyoung was sure of it. Jaebeom could forget everything but him. Jinyoung wouldn't allow it. 

Jaebeom's hands slid hesitantly under Jinyoung's shirt, feeling the soft skin of his stomach as if trying to remember by touch. Jinyoung pulled his shirt off and dropped it to the ground. 

"Can...can I?" Jaebeom asked, his tongue moving strangely around the words after so many years without speech. 

"Anything you want." Jinyoung whispered, his lips trembling, out of fear, out of anticipation. 

"Smell...so...good..." said Jaebeom. 

Suddenly, he pulled Jinyoung towards him and plunged his nose into his stomach, taking a long, deep breath, his hands sliding over to the back and caressing his skin, all the way up to his neck and back down his chest until they reached his belly. 

Jinyoung watched Jaebeom explore his body, shivering slightly as he felt the magic around him heighten his senses even more, every touch, every smell, even the taste of Jaebeom's lips on his feeling a hundred fold more potent than ever before. 

Jaebeom grasped his waist tight and licked his stomach experimentally, like an animal tasting its first kill. He looked up at Jinyoung, as if checking for his reaction. Before Jinyoung could do more then shudder at the sensation, teeth were sinking into his sensitive flesh, hard enough to leave a deep imprint, sucking the skin in and letting go as if getting ready to take a bite. 

Jinyoung held on to Jaebeom's shoulders, his fingers clenching on them hard, waiting, waiting... 

"know this... smell...feel...taste..."

"Yes, you do." said Jinyoung, the sensations in his body coursing through his veins like fire, the feel of Jaebeom's breath against his feverish skin was almost too painful to bear. 

He couldn't wait any longer. 

"May I?" he asked, tugging at Jaebeom's sleeve, he was wearing a tunic underneath the hoodie and loose pants made out of the same handwoven material as the other members of the tribe. 

Speaking of the tribe, Jinyoung suddenly felt a prickling at the back of his neck and he turned his head around. 

There they were, the members of the tribe, atleast 30 of them now, grown men and women, watching them, holding spears that seemed more traditional than functional. He didn't know how they had managed to surround the house without him noticing and they didn't seem to care that Jinyoung was looking back, catching each person's eye in question, wondering what they were waiting for. None of them moved to attack, they simply watched. 

But when Jinyoung felt an urgent tug on his belt, he looked back at Jaebeom and found he didn't really care either. 

All that mattered was that Jaebeom had pulled his clothes off and was trying to undo Jinyoung's pants, stumped by his belt buckle which he didn't seem to remember how to work.

Jinyoung watched him struggle, sliding his own fingers along Jaebeom's soft skin, tracing the scars from the ocean that still hadn't faded over the years, proof that he really was alive and in Jinyoung's arms. 

Finally Jaebeom gave up, breathing heavily and leaning into Jinyoung's touch as he caressed his face again, tracing a thumb over his heart shaped lips. 

Jinyoung chuckled at Jaebeom's defeated sigh and got up gingerly to pull the rest of his clothes off. They were both now completely naked, surrounded by the tribe, as if it was a ritual of some kind and they were the centre of it all. 

Jinyoung's attention was again brought back to Jaebeom and he forgot everything else, as Jaebeom's fingers found his thighs, pulling him back in with a strong grip and burying his face into his crotch, nuzzling against it. Jinyoung's hands automatically went to his hair, gripping tight when Jaebeom pulled a leg up to rest on the recliner gently, making sure Jinyoung wasn't disbalanced, and continued his minstrations down his inner thigh and the back of his knee, smelling, touching, tasting... 

His hands moved softly across his hips to the back until they stopped at his butt and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

"...this..." said Jaebeom, giving his cheeks another squeeze, harder this time, and Jinyoung laughed again, the laugh quickly turning into a hiccup as Jaebeom's fingers dipped in to find his entrance. 

"want...you...why...?" he whispered, looking back up at Jinyoung with wet, questioning eyes, as his fingers begin a soft caress around his rim, making Jinyoung cry out and throw his head back. 

Jinyoung looked back down at Jaebeom, pulling at strands of his hair to release some of the tension in his own body. 

"Because you love me." he answered, barely holding back a sob as Jaebeom's finger finally dipped in. It was rough, it was dry and it stung. But Jinyoung wanted it, he had never wanted the burn as much as he did now. To feel Jaebeom inside him. 

So he gently stepped back and lay down in the glowing grass, his whole body lit up with a greenish glow. He placed his hands beside his head in invitation, feeling a strange pulse in the ground as Jaebeom watched him in wonder. He spread his legs and Jaebeom was immediately on his feet, quicker than before and no stumbling this time.

Jinyoung felt a strange tickling around his body as Jaebeom's feet touched the grass and he looked down at himself to find the small blades of grass bending over him as if in an embrace. He tried to lift his arms, but he found that he couldn't move. The blades wouldn't give, holding him in place as Jaebeom walked over to stand above him, watching him hungrily. 

"What-" Jinyoung began, looking at Jaebeom in panic. 

"Shh." Jaebeom whispered. "Stay still, let me take care of you."

There was no hesitation in his speech anymore. 

As Jaebeom kneeled down by his body, Jinyoung felt the fear rise. Suddenly, he couldn't recognize this stranger hovering over him anymore. 

"Jaebeom Hyung...it's still you, isn't it?" he asked, his voice shaking with uncertainty. 

"It's me."

"Why do you...you seem different."

"I don't know what you mean." said Jaebeom, his eyes never leaving Jinyoung's face as his hand moved out to stroke Jinyoung's member. 

Jinyoung yelped in surprise and then groaned, throwing his head back. This was different too, more intense that he'd ever felt with anyone, even Jaebeom.

And before he knew it, he was cumming all over Jaebeom's hand, in waves, his whole body seized in endless shudders while Jaebeom continued to move his hand up and down, working him through it. 

And then, the pleasure turned into pain as oversensitivity took over every other sensation. 

Jinyoung gasped and pleaded, his eyes filling with tears as he struggled, while Jaebeom continued to work on him, smiling in wonder as he watched him cry. 

He stopped suddenly when Jinyoung came again, his moans turning into desperate cries, pleading him to stop. Jinyoung's eyes were blurred with tears. He blinked and they flowed down his cheeks, clearing his vision enough that he could see the tribe members again, standing closer than ever now, right against the fence, watching them with stone cold eyes, unaffected by his predicament. 

"You don't want this?" Jaebeom asked, looking surprised. "I don't know why but I felt like you did. A memory..."

"I-I do." Jinyoung gasped, gulping back more tears. "I just wasn't...ready..."

"Déjà vu..." Jaebeom whispered, frowning as he tried to rack his brain for a memory, something, anything. 

"We've done this before." Jinyoung said again. 

"I can stop, if you want me to." said Jaebeom, his eyes going soft with concern - a mere whisper of his old self, as the hunger was pushed away for a moment. And strangely, Jinyoung felt the blades holding his limbs loosen slightly, as if they were an extension of Jaebeom, waiting for his answer too. 

He didn't know what was happening, what magic was in play down here, but Jaebeom was different, yet still the same. He couldn't explain it. Unlike when they'd made love before, there was no hesitation, no fear of hurting Jinyoung in his eyes now, no effort to hold himself back. But there was still love in the way his worried eyes looked at Jinyoung, waiting for his consent to move further. 

And isn't that what Jinyoung had always wanted? 

"Kiss me." Jinyoung said and Jaebeom responded immediately, latching onto his lips with lips, teeth and tongue. 

"Do it..." Jinyoung panted when they broke away. "Do whatever you want."

Jaebeom paused for just a moment more to get a reassuring nod from Jinyoung, then his lips and hands were on him. 

Every inch of skin on his neck and torso was kissed and sucked and bitten and traced by Jaebeom's tongue. One particular bite on his neck so hard that Jinyoung felt his skin break, almost sure that he had drawn blood. He almost passed out as pain combined with pleasure. 

The blades of grass tightened when Jaebeom moved down. 

Jaebeom's tongue worked its way around his member in a frenzied swirl, and Jinyoung came again, his whole body arching impossibly in a silent cry, while his limbs remained trapped by the blades of grass. 

By the time Jaebeom turned him around and pressed his face in between the cleft in his hips, Jinyoung's moans were broken and hoarse, his voice almost gone. He was exhausted, yet his body spasmed and shook with arousal again as Jaebeom's tongue and two fingers found his entrance and fluttered their way in, burning as he suckled on his core, while his nose and his hot breath tickled the tender skin. Jinyoung wrestled with the grass to reach a hand behind him and clutched at Jaebeom's hair tightly, supporting himself up on an elbow while Jaebeom pulled his hips back with a firm grip, in time with his tongue and fingers. 

Jinyoung's cries rang out in the quiet, while the tribe watched him struggle. Making no move to help as Jaebeom devoured him whole. 

It felt like hours, not minutes when Jaebeom finally entered him, slowly and carefully, as if worried that Jinyoung would finally break. This was so reminiscent of the old Jaebeom that Jinyoung couldn't help the ache building in his chest. He felt brittle, like a simple word or a gentle push would be enough to break him into pieces. 

But if this was all he had, if this stranger that looked like Jaebeom was all he had left, if his touch, if this hunger was all that remained of their love, he was ready to be broken again and again. 

"Hold me..." he whispered weakly to the stranger. 

And the grass immediately retreated, letting Jaebeom pull him up into a gentle embrace. Jinyoung could feel Jaebeom impossibly deep inside him and his heart almost burst with happiness. This was where he belonged, in Jaebeom's arms, with Jaebeom inside him, filling the empty hollowness in his body that had tortured him since the moment Jaebeom had stepped into the submarine all those years ago. 

Jaebeom turned him around gently and placed a hand against his chest. 

"You seem happy." said Jaebeom, carding his fingers through Jinyoung's hair. "I can feel your heart."

"I am." Jinyoung whispered back. 

"Why?" 

"Because I love you." said Jinyoung simply. "Because I know that even if you came looking for this promise of Eden, I came looking for you. Because for me, paradise will always be wherever you are Hyung."

"You love me?" 

"Yes." said Jinyoung, kissing Jaebeom's nape gently. 

"I must love you too then..." said Jaebeom, placing Jinyoung's palm on his own heart. "Because I'm happy too."

Jinyoung pulled back and smiled at Jaebeom, caressing his lips with a finger. 

"Say that again."

"I love you too." said Jaebeom, returning his smile. "You came for me."

"I did. So many times." Jinyoung chuckled. 

"What is your name?" 

"Jinyoung." he whispered against Jaebeom's lips. 

And there it was again, a spark of recognition in his eyes. Jaebeom frowned. 

"Jinyoung?" he whispered, blinking rapidly as his brain seemed to short circuit with a blurr of memories. He lay Jinyoung down again and began moving inside him, slowly, hesitantly. 

"Jinyoung..." he said again, looking at Jinyoung in amazement now while his movements became faster.

Jinyoung held on to his shoulders tight, his body barely functioning from the roller coaster of emotions building inside him. His brain denying the possibility, even as his heart held on to hope. 

"Jinyoung." Jaebeom whispered in his ear as he came, finally a confirmation rather than a question. 

And impossibly, without rhyme or reason, Jinyoung came with him. 

And now Jaebeom was the one crying, holding Jinyoung to his chest again. 

"Jinyoungie...it's you, it's you..."

If Jinyoung were to choose a moment to die, it would have been then. There was no happiness that could compare as Jaebeom held on to him and cried while his memory flooded back. 

"I love you! I love you so much! You came for me, you found me!" Jaebeom sobbed, kissing Jinyoung all over his face in between tight embraces. 

"I knew you'd never forget me. If you were feeling horny after five years of being repressed, you could've just said so instead of scaring me like that. A warning would've been nice." Jinyoung teased, his eyes fluttering shut out of drowsiness. 

Jaebeom chuckled. 

"I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry it took me this long and I still don't understand how, but the more I touched you, the more I remembered. I remember everything now."

"And you kept your promise, you came back to me. Because you love me..." Jinyoung whispered with a weak smile, his eyes too heavy to remain open any longer. 

He must have been hallucinating, because he could swear he saw the tribe members around them bow down in reverence as his vision turned black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER:
> 
> Jaebeom makes love to Jinyoung and it sparks his memory enough to remember Jinyoung again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodbyes

When Jinyoung woke up again, the first thing he felt was the sun hitting his eyelids, making them crinkle in discomfort. Without opening them he knew he was in Jaebeom's arms, being cradled carefully like a child. Somehow he felt even stronger than Jinyoung remembered. He wondered if it was the gunray venom or was that all a dream... 

He lifted his arms with an effort and placed them around Jaebeom's neck, snuggling into his warmth. If this was a dream, he didn't want to wake up. Jaebeom's hoodie was back on him and Jinyoung rubbed his nose against his shoulder, taking in his scent. He felt weak, as if the life force had been drained out of him. 

"What did you do to him? What was the ritual?" He heard Mark's voice, strained with worry. "Why is he like this and you're-you're walking again? Dr. Woochan said..." 

He felt himself being lowered onto a soft surface and he scrambled at it trying to grab Jaebeom again. His hand came away with what felt like sand. He tried to open his eyes, but the brightness was still too painful. 

"He'll gain his strength back." he heard Jaebeom's voice say and he went still. "The ritual's... I can't explain something I don't understand myself. We didn't do anything we didn't want to. Dr. Woochan can ask the Leader to explain maybe. I don't know, I felt awkward asking him."

"But why is he so weak?" he heard Yugyeom say, and warm hands held one of his own now, checking his pulse. "He looks like...he looks pale. Don't tell me those guys are blood sucking demons or something. That would explain Dr. Woochan's agelessness and your suddenly acquired strength."

Jinyoung's eyes flew open, aching against the assault of bright sunlight. After a few long moments of blinking and shielding by Mark's hands, he was able to see. 

They were on a beach, Mark, Jackson, Yugyeom, Jaebeom and him. Jaebeom and Jackson stood talking in low voices, something about Jackson having the submarine operators sign an NDA to keep their little adventure a secret. Mark and Yugyeom kneeled next to him, their faces filled with worry. Jinyoung turned his head around frantically. 

"Where's my dad?" 

"He's here, he's coming with the leader. They needed to discuss a few things."

"What things?" 

"Whether we'll be allowed to leave or not."

"But dad said-"

"Apparently something happened down there that changed their mind." said Mark. "They want to keep Jaebeom or you, either one of you, or both."

"No!" Jinyoung yelled, louder than he'd intended, making Jaebeom rush over to try and encircle him in his arms again. 

"Baby, it's okay...I'm here, it's okay." he said, while Jinyoung struggled. 

"They're not taking you away from me again! I won't let them!" Jinyoung cried, winding his arms around Jaebeom's neck and holding onto him tight. 

"They won't." said his father's voice and Jinyoung pulled away from Jaebeom to glare up at him. 

"You promised!" he reminded Dr. Woochan. 

"I did. And I'm keeping it. You all can leave in your sub, your crew's nearby, waiting for you."

But something in his voice didn't feel right. It was too forlorn, too sad. 

"You're not coming back with us, are you?" Jinyoung asked, gathering the remaining strength in his body to get up and wobble his way over to his father with Jaebeom and Jackson's arms for support. 

"I don't have a choice Jinyoungie. I'm not one of their kin, they can't trust me not to reveal their secret."

"No! You're coming with us. The sub is right there dad! I'm taking you home with me!" 

"I can't Jinyoungie."

"But you've lived with them for so long! And what about Jaebeom? And me? Why are they suddenly letting us go? On what condition?"

When Dr. Woochan didn't answer immediately or look him in the eye, Jinyoung knew the answer. 

"You told them you'd stay if they let us go, didn't you? Dad!" 

Jinyoung clutched at Dr. Woochan's arms, pleading now, while Dr. Woochan still refused to answer, confirming all of Jinyoung's questions by his silence. 

"There has to be another way. You can't-" 

"Mated pairs are sacred to them Jinyoungie. They worship them, the gods of fertility. Their numbers are weakening by the year. They would have you help them increase their tribe. They won't let you go so easily, unless someone stays behind. I've helped them build a lot, I'm useful to them in a different way. It took a lot of convincing but they're ready to let you go."

"Dad..." Jinyoung pleaded again. 

"Jinyoungie. This is a life I have chosen for myself. I was never happier than when I am down there, learning and working with them...Except when I thought about you." Dr. Woochan smiled, holding Jinyoung's face gently in his hands and placing a kiss on his forehead. "The thought of you being happy, living your life the way you want, that's enough for me. And if it's Jaebeom that makes you happy..." he said, glancing at Jaebeom who looked down in embarassment. "So be it. Nothing could make me happier. Let me go Nyoungie..."

"I love you dad." Jinyoung cried, his head falling on Dr. Woochan's shoulder in defeat. "Please don't go back..."

"I love you too son." said Dr. Woochan. "And hey, I'll try and send you messages okay? Maybe someday I'll convince them to let me go and then you can come and get me."

Jinyoung raised his head to give his father an incredulous look. 

"I'm not lying Jinyoungie. I promise I'll try." said Dr. Woochan earnestly. 

"I'll hold you to it. I'll never stop waiting." said Jinyoung, taking off his tube top bracelet and tying it around his father's wrist. 

*

A few years later, a tube top bracelet in a glass bottle addressed to Jinyoung, found its way onto his desk. 

"Hyung!" Jinyoung called Jaebeom immediately, his eyes sparkling and a smile slowly building on his lips.

"Wanna go on another adventure?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me guys, especially my main people in the comments section who cheered me on, you know who you are. This fic wouldn't have been possible without you guys because it's something I was really passionate about but also uncertain of its reception. Even if one person read it I would've been happy, so to have so many of you read it is just a blessing.
> 
> I'll edit this some more for grammatical errors or to fill in plot holes but not too many major changes, so if you decide to read it again, I hope the difference wouldn't be too jarring. 
> 
> Thank you once again and I hope to be back with another au soon. Maybe a short au that is actually short. 😅💚


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